There is a conviction, a conviction, a conviction, resonating within me heart. It is a conviction graciously placed by God. It happens either when I am driving in my car or sitting by the road; watching cars passing me by. And I’ll be there, just looking and looking and looking.

At these chunks of moving steel; and then it hits me, it hits me hard, harder than I could ever explain. Because it’s NOT just moving steel passing me by, but there are souls in there. And I start to think about all the souls, and all the lives, and all the people- that are just passing me by.

As I just sit there and watch. It breaks me, because I may never know them, I may never see them face to face, and I may never interact with them.  And these people, these souls, may NOT know what they desperately need to know, the gospel. And here they are, running and running; running away from me.

They are beyond my reach, moving faster than I could ever hope to run. And what breaks me is not their temporal destination, but their eternal one. The weight of these souls and what awaits them, heaven or hell and the truth of the gospel- this is what hits me hard.

Do you see it? Do you feel it? Because I see the countless souls literally passing by me everyday and I feel the weight of all these truths and it breaks me to the point where I shout, “WHAT DO I DO?!?”

 Do I get out of my car and start preaching to traffic? Do I roll down my windows and start blasting praise and worship music or sermons, hoping that someone or somebody would have ears to hear and a heart to believe?  WHAT DO I DO?!?

And I’ll be honest, I don’t always feel this. This conviction it escapes me and many times I tend to forget. I tend to forget the souls, the countless souls, all around me. I tend to forget what is at stake here.  Oh how apathetic I become. No… how pathetic I am.

But, it’s by grace of God that I see it and I feel it now, but what can I do? How can I reach them? What can I do to help these souls in moving steel? How can I be of any use, if not by the grace of God?

You see, this conviction, this conviction, this conviction, it brings me on my knees; Embracing my horribly foolish and utterly helpless position. Therefore, creating within me a “sweet disposition” because, I know, that what I cannot do, my great and sovereign God can…

This conviction stirs boldness in my heart so that when the time comes for me to interact with a soul face to face, by the grace of God; I will take that moment and not play games, but take things seriously because I know what is at stake.

So this spoken word is for all the souls in moving steel that have ever passed me by- to God alone be the glory, as the Spirit leads me in everything I do. So I plead for you, don’t waste your life.

 

“If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea”
-Antoine de Saint

"I long not for the sea, but for something greater, the Infinite, Holy, and Glorious God."
-J.P. Fisher

God is holy.
"I define the holiness of God as the infinite value of God, the infinite intrinsic worth of God."
God is glorious.
The public display of the infinite beauty and worth of God is what I mean by "glory"
Thus,
"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty. The whole earth is full of his glory."

 -Piper (paraphrased)

Omnivorous Attentiveness = To wake up and feel/be aware of the sheer being of things. "The firmness of the mattress, the warmth of the sun's rays, the sound of the clock ticking, the coldness of the wooden floor, the wetness of the water in the sink."

My greatest moments of worship is when I am alone and able to just, by the grace of God, be still the fibers of my being in order to become somewhat omnivorously attentive; I close my eyes, silence my thoughts, turn of my engines, and begin to listen. Only then by God's grace, I begin to hear [it]

To listen to the song of the universe. [The Universal Song] = The song where all of creation, down to the core of their sheer being and at the center of their very whatness, are shouting out beautiful praises to God.

EVERYTHING IS POINTING TO GOD!!! CAN YOU HEART IT? CAN YOU FEEL IT? The light from my lamp, the fan inside of my computer, the wind blowing outside, the birds making noises, the drop of the fork, the water in the pipes running, and even the still solid objects on the atomic level of their being have their molecules constantly vibrating. That's crazy! They are constantly in motion! Can't you feel it? Can't you hear it? The music of the universe, ALL these created beings singing out to the One Creator Being. Constantly shouting this song, "Holy Holy Holy is our God Almighty, who was and is and is to come. The WHOLE earth is full of His Glory"

Even myself, who is horribly musically declined. Is spurred on by the constant and perfect rhythm of my heart beating in my chest as if it were a reminder from God that I too am to take part in this universal song. So then, in [A GOSPEL RHYTHM] I sing a song with my life, a way of living in Christ that disregards circumstance; praising God with everything for He is who He is. 

The song I sing in harmony to the universal song declares that He is my single minded pursuit and the sole weight of my life. Soli Deo Gloria. This is gracious gift of God, being made [deep] for His Glory.

The night before I left from my sabbatical this is what I CRElbed,

"I sit here outside, all alone in the cold midnight and I see the tents all around me. After looking around, in a low voice I start to preach. I proclaim the gospel, the truth of what Jesus Christ truly did. I pour my heart out as if the people in those tents were awake and around me listening. I wish the people were, I look around the tents one more time, I see the rvs and the cabins and I just pray. With a broken and contrite heart, I pray to my God.

I realize that I am still too much of a coward; to proclaim the truth of the gospel, the truth that people NEED to hear! To proclaim it with boldness and to say it loudly when people are awake and around me. I am too much of a coward to proclaim it loudly, boldly, and in LOVE! In love, with tears rolling down my face as I just share with all my heart, mind, and strength the TRUTH that they NEED to HEAR.

This cowardice truebdetrueb humbles me, but even more so, it breaks my heart. I make excuses as to why I wouldn't do it, but I know in my heart, they are just stupid cowardly excuses. I know it is my sin as a coward that keeps me from doing what I ought to do and instead all I can do right now is just stand on this table while every soul is dead in their sins and asleep in the flesh and preach, not even in a normal voice, but in a whisper! Woe to me for I am suredesureb a coward. I know I am still lacking, so I plead for the Lord to help me. Holy Spirit lead me. What good have I done tonight for the souls of all these people? God how am I supposed to sleep like this? In torment because I know if what I believe in is TRUTH, then every soul will die in their sins if they don't get the gospel if they don't embrace God's grace.

I feel the conviction, the Holy Spirit tugging away at my heart, I know I'm leaving tomorrow and I'm so scared, such a coward am I! God I'm not where I ought to be and its not for my soul's sake that I am anguished and in pain, but what is going to keep me up at night now is that people here will waste their lives pursuing temporal obsessions, they are putting their hope in things of this world that WILL FAIL THEM and when they die they will go to hell, for all of eternity, and their blood will be on my hands because I was too much of a coward who knew they were going to die and go to hell but I said NOTHING! AHHHHH!! What do I do? What do I do?

I know that I am not going to preach tomorrow cuz  I am so weak, such a coward who doesn't love people as much as he says he does, who doesn't fully grasp the weight of [IT] all. My cowardice and fear overshadowing the weight of the urgency to proclaim the gospel with BOLDNESS towards damnation...

With a sigh and surrender, I shall crawl into my tent, the sinner that I am, pray, fall asleep, leaving tomorrow in His Hands. Perhaps... the coward might die within me this morning. Holy Spirit lead me..."

 

The reason why I pray for boldness is because with grace given eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart to understand... I know what is at stake. Even tonight I plead for God to kill the coward within me and the souls that were in that tent and even the countless souls that pass me by everywhere I go.

Soli Deo Gloria.

Thorn in the heart yet immense inconsolable joy. Beconstifusing Paradox.

Over and over undone, but clinging to what Christ has done.

 

Dear God,

I embrace my sweet disposition, my utter foolishness and helplessness is all these things. So I plead, help me because I am weak, You are going to have to give me the strength to sing new songs. Make me into the man of God You want me to be, not for my sake but for Your Name sake. And if I get any glory in this, I fail, I horribly fail if I boast in what I am or I get praise for what I am because by the grace of God, I am what I am. Soli Deo Gloria. Truebdetrueb, to God alone be the glory. Glory be to Him.

Glory be to You,

J.P. Fisher

I am back, aahhh and there is so much to blog and rant about, but I just want to share the prayer I've been praying over and over and over.

"Sustain and incline me to You."

Its a vital plead to God that I continue to pray even now, even all the more now, because I can't do this on my own, I am utterly helpless and if left alone I will fail! I need the Holy Spirit to engage me and work graciously and lovingly in my life. Oh praise God, exalt Him, give glory to Him and Him alone because the Lord hears when I call to Him. And He answers. It's crazy, life is crazy, God is crazy! Crazy good! He is indeed the sole-weight of what drives my life.

Therefore, its time to get to work! No, its not work it is digging for treasure! And who after selling everything he has in order to dig for treasure, digs half heartedly? When one finds a treasure of the utmost value, he pursues it, he digs for it, whole heartedly with a passion.

Single-minded pursuit of God in man's life is a result of God being the sole-weight in that man's life. Thus, He is the treasure that I dig for, His worth is surpassingly greater than everything that this world has to offer and its even greater than my life.

"You can have all that this world has, but give me Jesus"

From this comes joy and life at its fullest, from this comes the life that matters, from this comes the best workers, friends, and family members, because what are you going to give them? Yourself? Ha! You fail. You give them God! They gotta have God! They need God! Therefore, dig for treasure.

 "The better we know God, the better we will want all of our exsistence to revolve around Him and see that the only goals and plans that matter are those tied to God, himself and our eternity with Him."

-D.A. Carson

Soli Deo Gloria!

One Goal = Violently seek God, no distractions.

 

woodland creatures beware the whale king is coming lol.

Everyone has the same amount of hours in a day, 24 God given hours a day. How we use them is only a reflection of our priorities in life. 

It twas a dashingly beconstifusingly crazy good day today, my mom agreed to my mini sabbatical, I shared the gospel for the first time at CSUF with a new friend/classmate/brother in Christ and safely yet crazily helped out a drunk guy who got grand theft autoed.

In deep prayer for both my friend, the drunk guy, and the guy that robbed the drunk guy. 

And what credit am I to take from all this? None! Soli Deo Gloria.

Dear God,

Incline my heart to desire the fullness of Your Glory. That is my simple love letter to You. Help me to fight this good fight like a justified fighter, fighting with gutsy guilt in order that I may not waste my life. I'm excited for next week God. Thank you for that frosting on the cake blessing that I read today also! Ahh! So much more stuff in my heart to write to You about God, but I guess I'll keep this letter short and simple to leave the rest of it for my prayer sesh with You later tonight.

Love,

The one you gracefully redeemed.

P.S. Dress for action like a man of God tomorrow or more politically correct, today. Praying.

P.S.S. Because I'm scared, because I'm weak, and because I have nothing, I need You.

[[Psalm 40 and 107 and 119 v.36]]

P.S.S.S. Thank you God for answering my prayers. Your grace towards me truebdetrueb twas not in vain.

"Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last."

 

Dear God,

I love THIS, I love what You have gracefully given me; You poured new life into this dried up/messed up soul of mine and now regenerately my longing soul longs for You and my hungry soul and hungers for You. There is no else that can FULLY satisfy and fill me like You do. And even now as i sit here in the library of CSUF, I am fighting the tears that want to fall from my moist eyes because Your presence is felt, even down to the marrow of my bones right now. What can surpass this? I challenge someone! ANYONE! SHOW ME SOMETHING GREATER THAN THIS!!! HHHAAA!!! THERE IS NOTHING!!!!! NOTHING THAT CAN COMPARE TO MY GOD!!! The fullness of joy and the overwhelming flood of steadfast love, that is His and from Him alone do I receive it. Yet how frustrated I am because of where THAT leaves me, for though I know more of THIS I yearn for BUT still why is it, I am not always set on THIS, and in my ridiculous bipolar faith all the fibers of my being are not engaged into seeking after more of THIS 24/7!!! Oh Lord, I am writing this love letter to You right now because You said, "Ask and it will be given" so here I am Your adopted Son by the truth of the gospel, crying and pleading to You, "Abba! Abba! Help me to be deep, help me to be deep in You, help me to love Your Glory, let my lips and tongue forever taste the sweetness in Your Glory, so that my heart and mind may work with passion to see Your Glory abound more and more. Let me not settle for where I am now, Lord stir in my soul a holy discontent for more, because I know from Your Word that there is still infinitely so much more of You. Help me to be and remain deep in You. This is my plead Father. This is my humble cry. I do not want to waste my life, I don't want anyone to waste their lives. God with tears of anguish rolling down my face and a beautifully broken shout of joy coming from my heart, let me LIVE! God I want to live! I want to live the unwasted life for Your Glory!" Lord I pray this because honestly I am tired. Tired of the air that I feel forced breathe everyday that tells me to live a life opposite of THIS. I'm sick of it. My soul wants to puke right now thinking about it. Thinking about me heading home right now and forgetting, forgetting what it is that matters. Forgetting Your surpassing worth and trading THIS for something DRY and WORTHLESS like the numbing of my mind and souls hunger with spiritual junk food that are nothing but crappy distractions, fondling my flesh for pleasure, or wasting time and energy into temporal obsessions. God my soul hurts right now because I don't want to live this place right now because right now everything is so clear. This moment of grace, God please sustain it. I love You, because truebdetrueb You first and infinity more loved me.

Love,

Jean Patrick Fisher

 P.S. Even now the feeling fades but still what remains is my soul is set on You. Oh and this is my one true delight. Soli Deo Gloria.

Only One Life by C.T. Studd

Two little lines I heard one day,Traveling along life's busy way;
Bringing conviction to my heart, And from my mind would not depart;
Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.
Only one life, yes only one, Soon will its fleeting hours be done;
Then, in 'that day' my Lord to meet, And stand before His Judgement seat;
Only one life,'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Only one life, the still small voice, Gently pleads for a better choice
Bidding me selfish aims to leave, And to God's holy will to cleave;
Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Only one life, a few brief years, Each with its burdens, hopes, and fears;
Each with its clays I must fulfill, living for self or in His will;
Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

When this bright world would tempt me sore, When Satan would a victory score;
When self would seek to have its way, Then help me Lord with joy to say;
Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Give me Father, a purpose deep, In joy or sorrow Thy word to keep;
Faithful and true what e'er the strife, Pleasing Thee in my daily life;
Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Oh let my love with fervor burn, And from the world now let me turn;
Living for Thee, and Thee alone, Bringing Thee pleasure on Thy throne;
Only one life, "twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Only one life, yes only one, Now let me say,"Thy will be done";
And when at last I'll hear the call, I know I'll say "twas worth it all";
Only one life,'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Project Name - Type - Status

"Her and I" - Book - Finished

"Temporal Obsessions" - Short Story - Almost Finished

"God-Glorifying  Domino Effect" - Book - In Progress

"Two Sides of the Globe, One Kingdom" - Play - Just Started

Undecided - Manga - Just Started

My Minds End - YouTube Poetry - Hiatus/Restarting

Squad vs. Squad - Board Game - Almost Finished

Youth Coalition - Christian Networking - In Progress

 

Dear God,

I pray that in everything I do, may it just bring you glory, Lord I'm so helpless without you. My heart is prone to wander and prone to leave the God that I love for idols that cannot compare to you; its stupid, I'm stupid. So I pray to You in faith, knowing that it is you who will sustain me and by your grace I am what I am and I do what I do. I surrender all that I do to You and my desire Lord is that from every breathe I breath to every project I do may it truly truly exalt and magnify You so that the whole world may see and may know that You are true and only living God and there is none like You.

 Love, 

Jean Patrick Fisher.

 

Lastly an explanation to my previous poem. Sorry I sorta act like a major narcissistic poet, but paradoxically I write my poems for the glory of God. But this poem's style was inspired by the writer of Alice and Wonderland, Lewis Carrol, and his poem "Jabberwocky" [ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jabberwock ] and content wise inspired by Paul the Apostle 1 cor. 9:24, 2 tim. 4:7, Heb. 12:1.

---

So heres the breakdown of the words I used...

Truebdetrueb = Similar to the bible's use of Truly Truly, this word is meant to act as Double True True, meaning that what this line is saying is SUPER TRUE.

Vorpal = This word was inspired by Lewis Carrol and what got me writting this poem, although Lewis said it has no meaning it can be found to be a combination of the words Verbal and GOSPEL. 

Woeaoh = Inspired by the Hillsong's With Everything, its a joyful noise(Psalms 100) yet a painful groan(Romans 8:22)

Sphrouts = Pray and Shouts, its also made to sound like sprouts to symbolize the growth of a Christian in God.

Wideth = a wide with

Minds End = a term coined by me, meaning to the very limits of ones mind

Proyckets = Prayer as powerful as Rockets

Glorcious = adjective meaning glorious gracious and loving

Spirockrit = the Holy Spirit more powerful than any rockets, made to rhyme with Proykects

Telly Welly = Tell it well

Hearts Pallate = a term coined by me, meaning what the heart taste

Gladore = gladness and adore

Beconstifusingly = beautiful and confusing

learping = learning and leaping, meant to show how a Christian overcomes

Flesmons= Flesh and demons

Falsins = Fall and sins

Pinjys = Pains and Joy

Anjys = Anguish and Joy

Loke = In between like and love, can be seen as a stronger like or a lukewarm love.

Surebdesureb = the sure version of truebdetrueb

G'more = greatly more

Bolraugeness = boldness and courage

Fibers of being = a term coined by me, everything that makes one be, from his soul to his flesh.

Glorce = noun version of glorcious

 

hope this makes my poem a little more edifying for you, I pray it stirs your affections for God as it has done for me. God bless and Soli Deo Gloria!