January 7, 2014

  • So what’s your deepest darkest sin?

    Very rarely do I use the successful formula of blogging, although I do know it and believe that it works and helps, I have chosen to abstain from it, the methodology of concise well proportioned(not too little or people aren’t intrigued, and not too much or people skip it all) and coherent blocks of content driven paragraphs that commonly start with a personal anecdote as introduction to topic and then are broken up with helpful and eye catching bold headers matched with an overall sleek design format(hip trendy edited pictures with or without text are optional, but highly encouraged) and viewer captivating questions(most often at the end) to engage readers into participation and motivate sharing, yes I for a long time I have abstained from it all. I am a narcissistic writer you see so I write how I wanna write and don’t give a rip if one responds “TLDR”, but today I mix it up because the Holy Spirit has led me to for God’s glory and the final salvation of the many.

    What are your “I wont TELL if you don’t ASK”‘s?

    So a brother in Christ(shout out to Steven Wu) and I came up with this funny idea #christianhumor, but one day we were having accountability and we talked about how the next time we have one on one we’ll do the following:

    Both of us get in the car

    Steven: Hey, we’re going to be in this car for a while. So how about we do this, I won’t ask you about your deep dark secret sins if you don’t ask me about my deep dark secret sins. Deal?

    (Now depending on my response, the conversation will go two ways)

    1. Accept
    Patrick: Deal!
    Steven: AHA! So what are you trying to hide?!?

    OR

    2. Decline
    Patrick: What?!? No deal!
    Steven: Okay! That was a test, and you passed.

    It’s a funny dialogue, but we thought of it because we have seen that the “I won’t ask if you won’t ask me” mindset(or should I say heartset) is what tragically happens in lots of fellowships and accountability. And brothers and sisters in Christ, such thinking needs to stop and be gospelized because “I(we) do not have to be haunted by what may be exposed about me(us), because everything that could be exposed has already been covered by the blood of Jesus.” -PT

    So the following are three tips I wanna exhort you with to prayerfully keep in your heart during your next accountability meet up, small group, church gathering, car ride with a brethren, or any time you find yourself with a God given opportunity to dig [deep]er with a soul.

    Be the first to confess

    Look, in a small group/accountability partnership/discipleship, it only takes ONE brave soul that believes the Gospel enough to take initiative and share/talk about what needs to be said despite one’s fear and shame. To be the first one to confess helps sets the mood like raising the temperature on a holy thermostat in a freezing room where people are hide under layers and layers of shame and beautifully eloquent hip scarfs and ski masks of lies. The mood where transparency becomes warmly welcomed and true Holy Spirit transformation can begin to happen, where sins or temptations that have been festering in the dark corners of one’s life and mind are finally brought to light in a Gospel-centered relationship that happens not just once or occasionally during retreats and conferences, but steadfastly, life on life, throughout the day to day rhythms. Therefore, share your struggles AND God help you please don’t minimize them or be general, but say it how truly is. I’ll practice what I’m preaching and confess it myself to exhort you to do likewise. I confess that I have so many times shared my struggles with sins in ways that I know actually make me appear better than I really am. And though I share and its a form of transparency, its a cheap and perverted/tinted kind that isn’t truly believing the Gospel nor helping my brethren confess their own struggles in the way they ought because often they match the pace I have set. If I generalize, they’ll generalize. If I say lust instead of masturbation, they’ll say lust instead of masturbation. So I exhort you to not only be the first that confesses, but to confess well, instead of saying something general like “Hey, I’ve been struggling with lust and pride this week” say “Hey, I’ve been masturbating everyday this week and just before meeting up with you I looked at porn and even while we have been talking about God that girl with really short shorts in the corner is really causing me to lust as I sneak peeks every now and then.” or “Hey, I need to confess that when you joked about how this girl would stop liking me after she gets to know me, I got offended and started remembering all the stupid things you’ve done and I thought about how ‘I’m a better Christian than you’.” So please don’t keep silent, but speak up! Help create an environment where your brother and sister can feel safe from condemnation by being the first to say whats already obvious, we are sinners and we are sinning, now just make it more specific with details. Trust me, its so worth it because in light of the Gospel we can not only be accepted, but we can be truly known!

    Ask the good questions

    To ask good questions requires one very key ingredient, listening! It is not just enough to half heartedly hear someone, many people just hear people’s struggles while waiting for their turn to say something, but we need to really pay attention and listen to someone both with our ears and hearts. Listening is important because good questions are the right questions to ask at the right time to the right soul. As addressed earlier, theres always that struggle in people to minimize their sin or not share something they may actually desperately want to confess, but struggle to. Therefore, ask questions that help the soul speak boldly and confidently in light of the grace God pours out because of Christ and through the power of the Holy Spirit. Ask questions that stimulate deep nitty gritty lets-wage-war-on-sin-because-we-have-the-Gospel type of talk. For example, “Hey is there anything you know you need to confess, but won’t unless someone ask you?”, “What have you been struggling with?”, “Is there any sins you haven’t confessed or repented from?”, “Are you trying to make yourself sound better than you actually are?” Then ask follow up questions that dig [deep]er and that you can use to intentionally point them back to Christ, “What do you mean by struggling with lust with your girlfriend, like does that mean making out every now and then or having sex?”, “Why do you think you haven’t read your Bible or been praying as much?”, “Where do you think this sin stems from?”, “What truths have you been preaching to yourself or how exactly have you been repenting?” Where has God been in all this?”, “If someone was struggling with exactly what you are struggling with, how would you share the Gospel with them?”, “Why?(its simple, but very powerful!) etc. etc. And finally, ask MORE follow up questions again! This means that the next time you meet with this soul whose confessed with you struggles and heart matters, ask them again how things have been since then if things are better than its a praise report and if things are worse or the same then get back into it in order to keep pointing back to Christ, because the struggles will persist thus so should the heart probing and Gospel centered questions in accountability. Therefore, learn to listen, learn to ask good intentional questions. Other questions I like to ask, “How can I serve you BESIDES just praying for you?” and “Are you lying?” again “Why?/Can you elaborate?/What do you mean by this or that?”

    Gospelize aka point it back to Christ

    This is without a single doubt in my minds end the most important one of them all because if you confess everything and ask really deep questions, but don’t bring it back to the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the good news of His Word, then your accountability fucking sucks! Look, its not about preaching at someones face just for the sake of preaching, for there are so many ways to speak truth NOT in love, but we must respond when brethren confess sins in order to speak life into them, we can’t just listen and move on to the next topic or person. We must ever be proclaiming the healing words of Christ to someone who is trusting you enough to let down their walls and show you their brokeness and open wounds. So if you don’t point it back to Christ, then you forsake the reason why we need to dig deep with others in the first place, you forget why it is we need to confess sins and ask good questions and ultimately have accountability. Every act of intentionality is for the purpose to Gospelize the way we need to Gospelize to our particular brother or sister in Christ that God has sovereignly placed in front of us to be accountable to. Behold, all of this is not some cold formula that you can simply memorize and do, but this requires a regenerated heart that genuinely wants to love their brother and sister and kill sin together with them because theres more of God to be had and enjoyed and know. This is what the Jesus Christ enables us to do. We get to remind each other of the truth that saves us because we are prone to wander and prone to forget it. This is one of the major reasons why the Christian life is wired by God to take place in the context of community/the local church. Because you can know the Gospel and even preach it to yourself or hear it from a great speaker on a podcasts like J Pipes or Matt Chandler or Francis Chan, but there is power when a brother or sister in Christ, who personally knows you and has just heard your struggles, proclaims the good news of Christ to you with love. So speak the Gospel to others and ask them to speak it to you! “Look, I know you are struggling with your identity right now and that you are trying to find it in this person or this temporal area of your life, but remember that you are a child of God and the proof is in the Cross of Christ and that will never change!” Therefore, keep the Gospel ever present with your running about and small groups, don’t let it go implied or assumed least it be whorrebly forgotten, but bring it back to the Gospel! And pray together pray to God to restore the joy of y’all’s salvation. AND remember to use actual Scripture, not just rely on your own words. Faith comes from hearing the words of Christ, not yours. Be a radical, go to the root.

    Don’t lose heart!

    GCT
    #GospelCenteredTableTalksBeforeILeftForJapan

    I know all this is hard, but don’t lose heart brother and sister, its worth it in the end, and His grace is sufficient for you!

    So is anyone keeping you accountable like this? Are you keeping anyone accountable like this? If you haven’t, are you going to? Why and why not? And what are your “I won’t TELL if you dont ASK”‘s?

    If theres anything I can do to help you as a brother in Christ, please let me know. Soli Deo Gloria!

    P.S. I realize I couldn’t even stick to the formula as my paragraphs are too chunky!

December 30, 2013

  • How was your week?

    [Final Whisper , "GAIN."]

    David Brainerd died at 29,
    His life was short but so divine.
    Charles Spurgeon died at 57,
    Oh how that preacher reached for Heaven.
    And C.S. Lewis died at 64,
    As he found JOY for evermore.
    But when will I come to die?
    This I wonder(to God) as I cry…

    I am still sick, so I’ll make this intro quick, for here’s my week more or less, I pray as its read it will bless, by showing you God’s good grace, His sovereignty typed out to taste.

    Monday

    -I went to my part time job, but there was no work to be done, so it was a lot of sitting and listening to sermons.
    -Ran about with a sister in Christ; shared testimonies, cleaned up some vandalism, and had a very interesting talk.
    -Ran about with a brother in Christ; I’ve come to learn that we are by far way worse sinners then actually we let on, and if [DM] had his way then this truth would leave me a cold and disdained filled cynic, but because the love of Christ prevails against all cynical callus, I can love because I know God stills loves us despite how jacked up we fully are.

    Tuesday

    -Wrote my mom a heartfelt letter for Christmas, well technically it was a letter to God about my mom which I gave to her, and a CD of really awesome worship songs she can listen to before she goes to sleep (she enjoys them both).
    -Went to a fambam partay and got some Doctor Who Swag.

    Wednesday

    -A very interesting Christmas day which was also a very prayerful day.
    -Ran about with the Whale King(the 3rd).
    -DOCTOR WHO!!!

    Thursday

    -Went for a run(literally/physically ran, not “running about” aka patrick lingo) and after three weeks of no running I must confess that I am sadly out of shape.
    -Went to my favorite Ten Rens; twas sad cuz the guy that normally serves me, whom I’m praying to be intentionally missional with, wasnt there today.
    -Worked on my to do list and updated my calendar.
    -Started working on some proposals and ecclesiology drafts for the church plant.
    -Scheduled my CBEST.
    -Caught up with a sister in Christ who dropped by Ten Rens for a bit.

    Friday

    -Work, we actually worked today, I really enjoy my time with my co-workers and being intentional with them along with another brother in Christ.
    -Went to CrossView’s Christmas Party, planned a dinner date with the Catapangs!

    Saturday

    -Generously bestowed my washing machine to a sister in Christ so that she wouldn’t be ostracized for being a smelly child.
    -Accountability with a brother in Christ, we are walking through a trial together and striving towards reconciliation. Trust,  frustration, and fires to test whether what binds us is really Christ or actually something fickle. I earnestly pray that it is the former.
    -Running about and Kbbq with three brothers in Christ, ’twas a long a fruitful night.
    -More progress on church plant stuff as well as more prayers.
    -A brother in Christ came and slept over.

    Sunday

    -Sick, therefore, sabbathed the whole day.

     

    I find that life’s been really going well and dare I say it, great! Recently, a lot has been picking up, its quite the opposite of stagnant and yet I’m resting well, better than I probably ever had before. Part of me has to stop and make sure I’m not making myself sound better than I actually am though, which is such a great danger and I even fear saying how well things are going because I don’t want people being discouraged when they compare there life with mine and that its almost too well and therefore kinda scary, scared I might be missing something in one of my “blindspots”, but right now I’m content in Christ and enjoying the season God has me in with an OPEN hand on my  present circumstances. Is my life exempt from blessed suffering, intense trials, messy struggles, and whorreble failures? OBVIOUSLY NOT, please take me off any pedestal you have me on if you think otherwise stupid! But being a better king type, prioritizing and finding good rest after lots of running about, and preaching biblically saturated truths to myself like “I’m not god!” and more so truebdetrueb accepting them have been so huge and helpful. So as all is going well, please pray for me that I do not idolize a good thing into a god thing or that I take pride in anything temporal. Soli Deo Gloria!

    Finally for your amusement I would like to bless you with my spoon dance:

    http://gifmaker.me/PlayGIFAnimation.php?folder=2013123003lLFDK6hgaQTUhBsvCbQKN2&file=output_j4VQiv.gif

    SOLEMN JUBILEE!

     

December 23, 2013

  • Xanga v. Sleep

    Oh what a busy and fruitful week… I know I wanna Xanga, but wisdom tells me sometimes it is better to sleep than toil typing out what I did this week. So instead I shall do one of my most favorite things to do in the world, write my One True Love a love letter and then humble myself by calling it a night.

    Dear YHWH,

    Who am I? What is my life that you have brought me this far? AND [this] is a small thing in Your eyes! Oh I am but dust yet paradoxically I am your precious child, I am nothing yet my identity has me inheriting Everything for You are mine and I am Yours, such sweet and succulent truth. AHH it blows my mind away as I strive to fathom this and I absolutely love it! Oh how I love it, I love YOU! OH YOU LOVE ME!!! How can I keep from singing this love, how can I contain it in every text I write, thought I think, conversation I speak? How can I ever hold back proclaiming this love that I have with You? And its with a broken and contrite heart that I confess how I know how I can, its cause I’m a freakn sinner. I’m whorrebly forgetting and stupidly straying… God help me here please. I’m still not where I ought to be and theres this angst cuz I think about that question over and over again and I’m reminded of my fears and I know my frames so much more than I ever did before, and so with a ever [deep]ing longing I groan how much I need You. Therefore, here I am, at the end of my long and heavy week, filled with countless blessings, robust running about, many battles, a multitude of struggles, and a horde of failures, here I am beholding You only You. Here I am finding my identity and rest vertically and not horizontally. Here I am… trying not to care too much about MY words and how I sound… but aching to be honest and not holding nothing back from You. Oh You do not call me to live a safe and boring and comfortable namby pamby life like some cowardly spineless lukewarm and loving it jelly fish christian, but You call me to be a man of God with holy ambition and a reckless abandonment who counts the cost daily and passionately says the truth, “You are worth it!”, for Your glory and the final salvation of the many which has become my deepest joy and pleasure. You not only call me to be this, but You declare and refine me into this! But oh I confess that I am a sinner and if its not one thing then its another… even as I write these words in this letter to You there already is a war waging inside of me… so as I said, here I am… You KNOW me… must I say anything more?

    its in Your Sweet Sweet name,

    Your beloved J.P. Fisher

    P.S. Thank You for this strong perfect plea every time Satan has tempted me to DESPAIR this week as well as an abundance of grace that has helped me to focus on the Gospel every time [DM] has tried to entice me with what he offers on the table.

December 16, 2013

  • Wisdom With Details

    Now hear I am again, striving for consistency and steadfastness with my resolve to come back to my Xanga. But I realize that as I desired it in my minds end to make this Xanga more diaryish, I come across the difficulty with details. Why? Because this is a public blog for anyone to read and so much of what happens throughout my week isn’t just about me anymore, but as I run about my story  intertwines and deals with other souls and their sins and personal life. So I can’t say everything and I pray for wisdom on how I unpack things, not for my glory, but for His and the final salvation of the many, and for grace when my good intentioned heart just f’s up and even when I write my sweetest blog, I need grace cuz I know it’ll still be spoiled and blotted with MY sin.

    So why not just post my Xanga as private? Cuz part of the DNA of my Xanga is that, by God’s grace, for the past 8 years its helped random web sojourners and secret lurking followers love God more. I know this from random personal emails to rare comments. So my Xanga shall continue to stay public until God reveals to me otherwise.

    But another difficulty for not reporting details is that its time consuming and heavy fruitful weeks feel like months so its difficult to recollect everything so if anything consider the Xanga just glimpses of my day to day life that focuses on the highlights I want to remember and bless others with. ALSO BIG DISCLAIMER: If you read my diaryish Xanga and it makes you put me on any kind of a pedestal because of all the crazy things I do for the Lord, please stop, take me off and destroy your pedestals. This Xanga isn’t to uplift me, but its to make much of God and testify all His works in me throughout my grace given weeks. Now I’ll try to do my best in being honest and transparent with struggles through this medium, but I’ll tell you, just as not every detail and blessing will be listed neither will every struggle or sin or temptation I go through, this is part of the wisdom part of this blog. But please do keep in your minds end that I’m a far greater sinner than you(and even I myself) realize! Which just makes it all the more crazy awesome that God loves me despite me and that the proof is in the Cross of Christ and all this stuff that I get to write down is only by His grace! Selah.

    Monday
    -Meaningful Mondays! Must I say more?
    -Blessed to hear from a soul, whom I’ve been praying for(others have been also) and have been intentional with for quite some time, that I can now call him a brother in Christ.
    -Despite such a productive and blessing filled day, [DM] still tempts me to despair.
    -Prayed for a sister in Christ, very blessed by God’s work that goes beyond me and her.

    Tuesday
    -Essay day till I found out that the due date was moved to Thursday and then this day became procrastination day!
    -Started writing poetry about Finals and God’s grace. They are quite popular on FB.(must confess seeking out “Likes” as a potential/to definite idol that I must do frequent heart checks for)

    Wednesday
    -Woke up and found out an assignment that I somehow thought was due Friday turned out to be due in 6 or so hours. Which became a blessing at the end as I finished it like a boss and therefore found myself ahead of my schedule.
    -Knew another sister struggling, much prayer as I withheld my questions and waited upon the Lord.
    -EPIC running about. Caught up with Billy Thai!
    -Began to persistently preach to myself that “I’m not God” in order to trust more in Christ and not myself.

    Thursday
    -Turned in my essay “Experiencing God with the Poet’s Poet(George Herbert)”; Spurgeon had “Lectures to my Students” while I have “Essays to my Teacher”
    -The beginning of Finals for me started here. And so I saw my strives to be a better King type bear fruit in my studies.
    -Delicious mexican food with EPIC brethren, good chill time.
    -Kevin Wu’s Bday dinner plus Monopoly Deal
    -Read 1 Chronicles 16:8-36 and pages 199 to 200 of Dangerous Calling at Ten Rens to recuperate after the first day of Finals and in the eye of the hurricane. Lots of crazy Holy Spirit led stuff.

    Friday
    -Work led to good bonding time with the co-workers.
    -Heavy day and night… lots of running about, lots of dealing with sin, lots of prayer, not just one things, but many, yet still I rejoice in the Lord.
    -Kimkim’s birthday celebration!
    -A sister in Christ asked me a really good question and an even better follow up question that I most appreciate at Yard House.
    -I asked a sister in Christ a really good question which lead to some great Gospel centered dialogue.
    -Blessed by accountability brethren who responded to my text and especially Matt for personally Gospelizing my soul living life with me.

    Saturday
    -Running About with Jason Douangsanith! Always filled with holy anguish and joy. Joy because I love catching up with him and showing him Christ with my grace driven love and life but anguished cuz I know he’s still not putting his hope in Christ and unless he repents, he’s going to go to hell. As we were getting Cookie Butter he said he would come check out the church plant, so more to pray for now.
    -Saw some old souls that I haven’t seen a while, shared and celebrated the Lord’s work in our lives.
    -Super blessed by Tim’s text message!
    -Finally watched Old Boy and didn’t end the night well, but true repentance God supplied.

    Sunday
    -Taught my Sunday School kids about Hell
    -Went to small groups
    -Attempted to study
    -Silent Auction for TPC(JOY), lots of running about and blessings flow. I won me some Pokemon cards!
    -Attempted to study again(I dont need to study cuz I got all of Monday to study and I’m good according to my schedule and hours I’ve calculated I need)
    -More running about that ended in prayer and praise of the Holy Spirit at work. #strangefire
    -Then a long and lovely Facebook chat that stirred my affections for God even though it cost some hours of sleep, but twas definitely a joy and pleasure.

    Again theres always so much more, the details may be lacking, but this is all I can muster. Now I praise my God by resting well…

    Dear Abba,

    Help me to love the things You love and to hate the things You hate.

    You are my all in all,

    J.P. Fisher

December 9, 2013

  • Diaryish Xanga to overcome writers block?

    So massive writer’s block with Finals coming along is whorreble circumstance for and English major. Therefore, what do I do? I take a tip from my English Studies class and decide to blog in nigh-stream of consciousness!

    Now why don’t I use my trusty Xanga as much as consistently as I did years ago? I think I’ve answered this before, but its because nowadays I articulate myself with my pen and CRElb AND these seasons of my life have so many days that are filled with much running about which makes it difficult to sit down and commit to typing out my spiels/rants the same way as I did before, especially new spiels/rants that I haven’t already CRElbed. Oh seasons! And yet here I am, on my Xanga, but why? I’ve been meaning to come back to her for a while, but just haven’t been able to stick to my resolve with her(yes, I’m personifying my Xanga into a female, and a sexy one at that like the Doctor and his TARDIS) and even now as I type and ways I can steward her for the glory of my King and the final salvation of the many pop up into my head, I ponder if any of it will stick. But for now, (w)holy carpe diem! And let the narcissistic writing of J.P. Fisher commence!

    So to clarify in case you’ve ever wondered what it is I CRElb(that black notebook I always carry along with my Bible); my CRElbs are NOT a diary or record of what goes on throughout my day, very rarely will I narrate personal events of my living especially in detail, rather my CRElbs are a collection/life book of thoughts and feelings, stories and questions, love letters to God and gospel presentations, prayers and poetry, and all that lovely jazz. Its spiels and rants and tangents that go on in my head that I want to remember rightly, make coherent and solid, and refine in articulation both for my own soul’s good and with others I run about with, and all of the subject matterings are almost always about God or at the very least are in relation to God in the context of my life, what I’m exposed to in all its running about and resting well. Therefore, I thought just as my Xanga has been used as a diary/update of my days in Thailand and Japan, why not use it as such for my day to day life? In other words/tldr: I’m making my Xanga more diaryish! So this is my attempt at a consistent/steadfast revitalization of my beloved Xanga. Shall we begin?

    Monday
    -Work! I work now or rather I’ve been working. Feels good, it makes me tired, the good kinda tired. I used to have two part time jobs, now I only gots one. And in this job I can listen to sermons while working(I listen to around 4 a day plus worship music), its lovely, its like a Sabbath for my soul(even though I’m physically working, the time and setting lets my emotions, minds end, and soul recharge in ways sleep can never do so) without any distractions(cuz I’m working) AND I get paid for it.
    -I am really blessed to work. I don’t earn A LOT, but it’s definitely enough to make running about all the more sweeter because I get to love upon souls with my own money instead of my mother’s money.
    -Meaningful Mondays Small Group = Always a joy a pleasure to run about with them.

    Tuesday
    -Taking baby steps to be a better King type in order to make much of His name and grow in sanctification and maturity
    -Went to La Brea Tar Pits by my lonesome(well I’m never truebdetrueb alone when I got Jesus!) and asked myself, “How do you go to a museum for the glory of God and the final salvation of the many?”
    -Since I was in LA already, I decided to run about with some of my favorite UCLA souls there: Ty, Jon, Ryan, and Jeremy
    -Was asked a really good question by Jon that lead to some sin in my heart being lovingly exposed and now I am seeking repentance and making war against it.

    Wednesday
    -Found myself increasingly loving the Word of God more
    -EPIC running about, was blessed that Zach wrote a Gospel presentation for the waitress.
    -Found out I’m doing a spoken word at the winter EPIC conference! Please pray for that!
    -Went back to UCLA cuz I left my bag there; surprised Jon with a very special gift. ;)
    -Saw some new houses and got home at around 3-4. #sleepisforwimps

    Thursday
    -Running about with Justin Kuo; an unCRElbable and unxangable conversation in intentionally getting to know a brother in Christ a lot better that I truebdetrueb enjoyed and soak in. Pray for more to come, if the Lord sees most fit.
    -Good talk with mi madre(Susan)

    Friday
    -Work!(Friday’s are more missional as I get lunch with my co-workers and sometimes we’ll get drinks after work)
    -Danny’s Birthday Dinner, caught up with the Salazars(my version of the Ponds) and heard some prayerful good news from my 2nd mentor in life/the 1st Whale King
    -Blessed to love upon a brother as I drove him back home and prayed for him
    -Then while the night was still young(12am) I had accountability with Matt Chang after he got out of work at Dennys… mmm hot chocolate and deep Gospel centered talks!

    Saturday
    -Watched my little nephew Jacob and overall had some good fambam time
    -Ran about with Ross while doing errands
    -Brother’s Appreciation, super blessed by EPIC sister’s in Christ in too many ways to express through mere typing
    -EPIC brother bonding at my house = wrestling, boxing, laughs, ping pong, and Christ like love plus the sweat of manly men filling my garage.

    Sunday
    -Taught Sunday School at my local church(HCBC); we are going over the attributes of God and had the kids write down 20 things they know about God.
    -Caught up with Tim after the service in my car
    -Went to TPC(Joy)’s Sunday Service for the first time(I’m planning to alternate between going to their FN BS and Sunday Service every week)
    -Visited Ronnie in the hospital, feed him chocolate pudding, and then read to him some Scripture
    -Now I’m here!

     

    Okay not bad this is definitely a start plus its 3:00 in the morning and my brain knows its time to sleep… my writer’s block is definitely loosening up and hopefully it’ll last so I can finish up my essays for Finals, but I am succulently enjoying the sound of my heart being poured out through passionate typing unto my Xanga. I feel a little rusty, not getting all the details I’d like to add and I’m pretty sure I’m forgetting one or two really big events that’ll just shake my head for forgetting, but slow and steady, Lord willing I’ll be on here again next Sunday. Let him who is faithful with the pond, be faithful with the lake. And let him who runs about and blogs till 3a.m. humble himself and rest.

    #soithasbegun

    Dear Abba,

    I love You.

    Forever and always Yours,

    J.P. Fisher

September 24, 2013

  • You Still Survived

    Dear Xanga,

    Congrats for surviving, I am looking forward to blogging on you once every blue moon. Please don’t feel betrayed now that I CRElb everyday, I still love you especially because you were my “first” CRElb.

    To my dear old friend for almost 8 years,

    J.P. Fisher

    P.S. I’ll make you look all dashing and stuff later ;)

July 31, 2013

  • Sovereignty and Death

     

    Quick Update: Life and running about and resting well back here at home is just as, if not more, robustly busy and fruitfully productive as it was in Japan, except a lot less “organized”. Soli Deo Gloria. 


     

    [Poetry That I Squeeze From My Bible Saturated Being In Order To Preach To Myself Refreshingly]

    I know not what the future holds,

    But in Christ,

    His grace suffice,

    And sovereignty unfolds.

    So I strive to be a man with a plan,

    a godly man.

    Acknowledging my limited span

    And trusting in God’s infinite hand.

    For I know not what the future holds,

    But in Christ,

    His grace suffice,

    and sovereignty unfolds.


    [What Death Reminds Us In Donut Tree]

    1. Death reminds that life has a God ordained purpose.
     
    2. Death reminds us that this world is broken by sin and needs Christ.
     
    3. Death reminds to be more missional with souls and love them with Christ’s love because they have eternal destinations.
     
    4. Death reminds us that for those who die and are saved by the blood of Christ, we can celebrate in a time of sorrow.
     
    5. Death reminds us to not waste our lives. Only one life twill soon be past; only what’s done for Christ will last.
     
    6. Death reminds us of the Gospel because Jesus Christ died a whorreble death He did not deserve so that we could live a soul satisfying eternal life we do not deserve.
     
    7. Death reminds us, the children of God, that there is coming a day where we will receive an immeasurable GAIN and see the glorious face of our Lord Saviour Jesus Christ face to face.

     

July 9, 2013

  • J-Days to Post J-Days: Crossing the finish line, but still running about!

    The following will record my last week in Japan which includes the last running about on campus, the farewell party, the retreat outside of Tokyo, and to now the last day of debriefing in SoCal. ENJOY and marvel at the King of kings for He works in clay and dust wondrously! Where do the stars go? Oh the comet comes home hot!

     

    -Resolve: Devote MORE mental grace driven and delight over discipline fueled effort to INCREASINGLY and INTENTIONALLY pray for souls by name and to pray specifically and earnestly and vibrantly and confidently in Christ because I know that I am a child of God beckoned to pray. Even though 16 hours away from certain souls, I can still partake in their lives not only through Facebook, but even [deep]er through sweet prayers in the name of Jesus Christ.

    -Last day on Waseda = Got to follow up with Rick who accepted Christ and we read John 4 together! Praying for him. How can a Christian in Japan survive without a Gospel centered community of grace aka the dearest place on Earth which is the church?

    -Connecting to souls through poetry! Another guy accepted Christ, but with no time to followup, how will I know what soil the seed landed upon? Again I see the need and pull to get on my knees and in my sweetest disposition and pray/plead to God. I cry out, “Abba!”

    -Last day on Rikkyo = Because of the timing of things, no one I really connected with throughout the past couple weeks could make it to the party EXCEPT for these two lovely souls that I met at Rikkyo! They are the last ones I talked to on campus and its crazy awesome that they came after only meeting me once. Soli Deo Gloria!

    -The Great Commission is NOT the Great Suggestion, for it is totally intrinsic to the redeemed Christian life and it is a command and mission abundant in joy and grace and love therefore LET THE NATIONS BE GLAD!(Oh how my soul sporadically loves to shout this loudly in my minds end and moments alone or when I’m with people it wouldn’t be totally weird of me to do(most likely because they know me))

    -One of the biggest highlights in this whole summer project was seeing a class of Japanese Kindergarteners singing “Jesus Loves Me” (The video is on my Facebook), because after such bittersweet toiling in rough fields saturated with hard soil, language barriers, heavy spiritual warfare, great temptations, and blackholes, such a sight and sound was pure grace driven fireworks during a blue moon ecstatic bliss! Praise the Trinity for recording moments in HD for High Def Cuteness!

    -Running about so much, no time to CRElb how I’d like. Not enough time for my pen to keep up with the work of God. Oh God is sovereign over my schedule!

    -Exhorted to be/stay JOYFUL by a man of God and blessed to hear his exhortations for the rest of my fellow team brethren.

    -Lovingly charged by that same man of God with [something] serious and I pray/plead to God to help me remember that its NOT all about me, oh may grace sustain us. I pray for more than just me, but for US. Again too many souls, too many thoughts, so much to PRAY.

    -Praying for Team B, the STINTers, and Omar.

    -In prayer, I realize that I make a whorreble hero, therefore the Gospel makes perfect sense because we need Christ.

    -RETREAT!!! = Being in UNISON in YUNESSUN(naked bath house plus bath house amusement park)

    -Overcoming [DM] one day at a time with every means and weapon of grace that God provides.

    -Starting to think about certain things that I’ve been putting off because I wanted to stay focused on the mission at Japan. Intrepidatiously Excited yet Restlessly Nervous yet Paradoxically at Peace.

    -Good talks and good team bonding and good accountability with the team brethren especially the brothers because our GOD IS GOOD! Oh the details in this simple yet beautiful line of truth!

    -SO MANY GOOD MEMORIES THAT I WANT/NEED TO REMEMBER!

    -Pondering how things will be back home.

    -Bought all my souvenirs.

    -Two Days of traveling = 30 hours of travel from walking, buses, trains, and planes. Which led to 15 hours of [deep] thought going back home, there are three big subject matters that are being saturated in much prayer. 

    -Wrote out A LOT of stuff to talk to Wilson about = excited!

    -Blessed by Tim’s dream of me and late night boba.

    -DEBRIEFING BEGINS!

    -Feels so good to be back home especially when I went for an exhilirating morning worship run after a nigh sleepless night of thoughts mixed with [DDDT]s and [SGCT]S!

    -My 1st Mentor in life saw me running on his way to work, CRAZY!

    -Still praying!

    -Will I have PMS? How will I have it? Will it be the same as last time? (PMS = Post Mission Syndrome)

    -Striving to finish well and keep on going! Therefore, expect at least one more blog post about Japan. Soli Deo Gloria!

     

    Last batch of Japanese souls to pray for: Takahiro, Yota, Shougo, Kai, Yusuke, Sena, Mai, Saki, Smoker Guy, and of course theres always so much more therefore my fellow saints, PRAY! If not for these souls, then at the very least for the souls around your life right now wherever God has sovereignly placed you. I exhort y’all to intimately communicate with our One True Love and intercede for them sweet pleas because we know that because of Christ, He hears us not as slaves, but as adopted and beloved children.

     

    [Still Working On A Title]

    How will this all play out?
    I’m harped with fear and doubt.
    As I plead, I’ll start to shout.
    God be what this is all about!

    I know not what the future holds,
    But in Christ,
    His grace suffice,
    and sovereignty unfolds

    Thus my heart finds rest
    Because in Christ alone,
    His Gospel is sweetly shown
    And I know I have the Best.

     

June 29, 2013

  • J-Days: Don’t Coast!

    Resolve: Whatever it takes and whatever it costs DONT COAST and fizzle out, no matter how tempting it may be and how hard it may be to keep pressing on now, DONT COAST, instead by God’s grace and for the sake of the Gospel, SPRINT, RUN, JOG, OR CRAWL even, but don’t just coast! Make [this] a strong gutsy guilt, love saturated, eternal long view, BIG God intimate relational theology type of resolve that resonates with every pull and pang in the fibers of my being! God, help me pour myself out for the glory of God and the final salvation of the many. Help me to vibrantly persevere.


    So heres the update which I’ll try to keep short and simple this time:

    -”Proclivity” and “craving” are words I want to induct into my diction with grace driven poetic effort.

    -What is the [deep]er heart sin beneath the surface sin and how do I/you need the Gospel in this? = ALWAYS coming back to the work of Christ and NOT my own works.

    -Swedish Method with Katsu plus pointing to the Gospel through Wreck-It Ralph.

    -Fasted and prayed and fought the proclivity to wander and forget the Gospel with lust, pride, and performance. 

    -Settlers of Catan with the team brethren, its the brothers in Christ’s mission pastime or maybe an idol that induces pride ahah jk jk!

    -Prepped my heart to PRAISE GOD even for the whorreble and difficult and rough bad days.

    -Had 7 rejections in 1 hour

    -Praying against cults and lies being fed to Japanese students that we are coming across on campuses

    -Getting kinda “sick” of my team(Don’t worry I told this to them and they understood where I was coming from), but I STILL love them and I still love being on mission with them. Its just that I’d love to be home for a day, sleep in my bed, and not see any of them, and then come back to continue the mission. I’m just sick of them, not in a repulsive hateful way, but its more like “an introvert in need of being alone and not seeing anyone’s face for a day because when I wake up I see them to when I go to sleep I see them” type of sick. But its good practice for when I (Lord Willing) have wife, if you know what I mean. Oh how God sanctifies and tempers His children’s souls.

    -Lots of grace shown on the campuses this week and running about as the Triforce of CSUF(Lester-’Destino’, Julien-Cru, and I-EPIC) in Tokyo. Excited to continue this Holy Spirit led team up back home.

    -My team assignment for Unity Week was the following, “Leave your Bible, CRElb, and Music behind. Lead the pack in pace and time.” Felt so naked, but was good as it help me cherish the weight of my sword and to exhort my brethren more through the Word in my heart. Praise the Trinity for Bible Memorization!

    -One brother had to be within an arms length of another specific brother the whole time on campus, it was sanctifyingly hilarious!

    -Reminded of the Prpl Fox videos and led to [deep] prayers and earnestness.

    -How does one have [sexual purity] in a lust-saturated world and when you have a burning passion in the loins?

    -Resolved to not marry my potential wife until I hear her fart AND she has to be willing to LARP with me and preferably not despise it.

    -This week have been less talks, but longer and better quality. Soli Deo Gloria.

    -Narrated for Mafia twas legit!

    -Inexpressibly tired from vigorously and vibrantly running about and loving upon lost souls from those who think [deep]ly to the uninterested, fireworks to blackholes, and good communicators to the difficult to communicate. 

    -Sweet solitude saturates my solemn jubilee sabbath!

    -Saw Tokyo Tower and other awesome Tokyo stuff.

    -Have been getting very close to the brothers in Christ on my team and am glad to be able to serve them with lovely massages and [deep] talks.

    -[DM] and a Identity Crisis = Much prayer in waging war on sin and lies especially as I fight hard not to coast AND Gospel centered introspection of every fiber of my being, but my soul rests in my One True Love’s arms.

    -Awesome alleyooping with my team brethren, despite me being “sick” of them, our unity for the Gospel is definitely apparent and its a true joy and holy bliss to my weary soul. I truebdetrueb love them.

    -Praise the Trinity for no more bug bites and that we got to see Rikkyo Campus on a beautiful sunny day!

    -Ate fried blowfish and it was amazing! It’s like chicken and calamari had a wonderful and beautiful baby!

    -One more week in Japan.

    -The video bellow is the official theme song for our team 

     

    Souls to pray for: Keisuke, Keisuke, Hitaro, Rick, Yu, Sung-Joo Song, Kazu, Kazu, Yutaro, Nobi, and Takuro.

    Always so much more… Soli Deo Gloria!

June 21, 2013

  • J-Days: Grace Driven Poetic Effort

    Update Update Update!

    -Let’s Talk BBQ = Legit! I got a lot of bug bites(over 7, they must love my exotic blood or something), but IT was totally worth it in order to see good grace driven memories made, relationships [deep]end, the Gospel shared, and people loved with Christ’s love. I do not count this little little little suffering worth comparing to what is to come when I am with my glorious Jesus Christ for all of sweet eternity.

    -Took my first communion in Japan.

    -Someone like literally prayed for my feet, and theres nothing wrong with my feet, he just got on his knees and placed his hands on my feet and prayed for them spiritually. twas a little weird, even for a CRE like me, but I could definitely feel the love in his heart.

    -This week’s theme for our team is FAITH and taking BIG steps of faith with BIG confidence in Christ. Mine are/have been the following: 1. Fast a whole day and spend three straight hours praying/pleading for Japan and throughout the week confess “fresh” sins to brethren. 2. Have seven conversations with lost souls that are longer than an hour. (Obviously must be vibrantly Holy Spirit led and genuine) 3. Partake in _______’s salvation and see him “cry” in response to the glory of Jesus Christ/the Gospel.(Didn’t add the specific name although there is one that I’m still praying for)

    -God is definitely sanctifying me to adjust in many things in different ways, forms, and gears, it refines every fiber of my being and yet I’m still being God uniquely wired me. Oh how I’ve been growing so much and oh how I am excited to see how it plays out when I(Lord Willing) return to old waters of running about. There is a fear that this may not stick, but I trust in God it will. 

    -Didn’t call my dad for Father’s Day, but called my mom. Some of my team met her(PTL for FaceTime) and they love her and the rest love my impression of her.

    -Kinda homesick, its a fusion of holy concern and raging curiosity; I’ve really been desiring to write a long Paul type letter to my local church, like how I did last time I was on a mission trip, except I struggle for I know not what to say because I know not how they are doing exactly.

    -Blessed whenever I do graciously hear updates from souls back home. Lovingly concerned and prayerful when I don’t hear anything. God is sovereign. 

    -Blessed by the Gospel. Boom sha ka la ka!

    -Finished the book of Esther and now onto Nehemiah!

    -Had a excruciating tough day at Waseda for me and the rest of my team, but even though it was painfully hard and discouragingly difficult. He is still forever and always worth it, He is worth going through bad days, and even if God were to call me to 40 years of days like that, I would still say painfully yet beautifully, “Here I am, send me!” because the glory of God is good! It is GOOD! Do you understand that!?! He is WORTHY!

    -Despite the rough day, in the midst of all our broken tiredness, God’s grace sustains and presses onward His beloved children; the guys were able to share more in [deep]th our lives and exhort/pray for one another in Gospel centered transparency. 

    -Learning about prayerfull applied psychology as a means of faithfully glorifying God and humbly serving people.

    -OMGHGA! (Oh my God, His glory alone!) I and another brother in Christ partook in the salvation of a soul, oh to see someone who was once blind and now see, tis such a holy thrill and bliss beyond all words can say. Oh for the glory of God and the final salvation of the many I was graciously blessed to see him come to some of the most beautifulest tears I have ever seen due to the undeniable and incomparable warmth, love, and glory of God in Jesus Christ. He is now my brother in Christ. God is good. God saved him, I didn’t do it. Soli Deo Gloria. Need I say more?

    -Was blessed to answer many good questions about God in service to some souls seeking and growing in their relationship with God and to overall exhort many brethren this week to keep loving God and being faithful. I am His guitar and He is my Guitarist. Soli Deo Gloria.

    -Had a tough day at Rikkyo, this week was/is definitely a mixture of good and bad days, but this day in particular, it felt more like I was running about like a guy instead of a man of God.

    -The past couple of days, both good and bad, have been very draining, but I resolve to not coast towards my sabbath or end, but to run about hard and hyper acceleration mode overdrive sprint and leap if necessary!

    -Karaoked with team brethren =

    -Saw the team I almost went to Japan with on FB. God is sovereign, He always knows best.

    -Went to Disney Sea for sabbath and wisely chose to leave early in order to truebdetrueb rest. Praise be to God for His Holy Spirit that guides me in order to make personal and much needed wise decisions.

    -My mexican food craving is finally satisfied, but it was at a high price.

    -Started reading “Attack On Titan”.

    -Lots of inspiration for new stories and poems these past couple days.

    -I know not what the future holds, but in Christ, His grace suffice, and sovereignty unfolds.

    -Still struggling. But honestly, I want to kill sin more than I love it. I want to destroy sin more than I want to partake in it. 

    *sigh* always so much more to say because God is doing so much. *joyful shout*

     

    Dear God,

    I love You.

    You love me,

    J.P. Fisher

    [EDIT] Forgot to list some more souls to pray for: Shogo, John, Mark, Stephen, Joni, Hung, Sabrina, Ken, Ayumi, Shoyo, Hiro, Takumi, Codey, Gary, Hikari and her three other friends, Vito, and Kristoff. May you see this and see not a list of names, but a list of souls to be lovingly prayed for in the name of Jesus Christ.