Okay so here's the spiel that I've been meaning to unpack. About a little over a month ago my mother left to go to Cancun. So I was home alone for a whole week! FREEDOM! lol! During this time there was a major conviction being hammered upon my heart and it was this; It's only me and my mother in my house therefore I am the man of the household and as the man of the house I ought to be leading it towards God and pointing it towards Christ as the man of God I ought to be by His grace. And by the grace of God I've seen His sovereign work in me to go running about and loving people from CSUF to Walnut to Impact to HCBC majority are Youth. But what really convicted me was that I could take someone out for dinner and have this deep talk with them and love upon them by discussing holy subjects such as the sovereignty of God, but very rarely did I see myself doing that with my own mother and family is supposed to be my first ministry. The Holy Spirit convicted me because if I could do that with youth and even strangers, why couldn't or more so why wasn't I doing this with my mother whom I love. So with this conviction in my heart and a week alone I got to pray and seek the Holy Spirit for a resolve. Praise God, I got one and my resolve was [this] = in the same gospel centered and intentional way I minister and disciple my padawons, in the same way I teach my Youth group, in the same way I am accountable with my brothers Tim and Jack I resolve to do the same with my mother. To lead my mom as a man of God while still honoring her as my mother.

Sounds simple right? But its hard because there have been somethings I would always want to tell my mother, but didn't know how to convey it without offending her or being received wrongly. I love my mother.

But anyways, back to the spiel I must unpack...

SUNDAY

This was my God given resolve. My mother came back Saturday. And from Saturday to Sunday she had been "nagging" me in her usual manner. The one thing about my mother I did not miss, but I confess first and foremost that this is my sin and sinful attitude. So she was nagging me Sunday night. I had forgotten all about my resolve and was not feeling much love for my mother at this point. She started asking my some questions to make conversations while I was on the computer in her room. I answered but in a way that would not lead to further conversation/dialogue. I went to the restroom and that is when God loving hit me! He gracefully reminded me of what I had been praying for and my resolve and revealed my lack of love for my mother and as I came out of the restroom, I saw my mother laying on the bed facing away from me. I got in the bed and snuggled next to her. I told her I loved her and we started talking. I shared with her my resolve and she was warmly accepted it and loved my intentionality. We were both excited for future the Bible Studies and Accountability we would have! We have had several of these so far and they have been a blessing for the both of us. AAHH! Can't really begin to describe it, but it has strengthen both of our love for one another and for God. 

MONDAY

Now the timing of this story is important and totally God ordained in a God glorifying domino effect way. Prior to my mother's trip to Cancun, she had gotten a biopsy. The doctor called this day telling her that they found an abnormality and that they wanted to talk to her about it the tomorrow and to bring someone important. At this point I was already prepared for bad news because seriously what kind of doctor says, "We need to talk to you tomorrow, bring someone important to accompany you" just to tell them "You're okay!" So I was prepared, but I wasn't sure how my mom was. I found myself in deep prayer.

TUESDAY

Tuesday came, I drove my mom to the hospital. My aunt and her went in to see the doctor while I waited in the waiting room. I texted a few people to be in prayer for her. My mom came out and she was crying. She told me that she had breast cancer. I embraced her. We were the last ones so no one else was around. Now I have to say this. I may sound heartless, but I pray this is articulated properly, but throughout ALL of THIS not once was I ever worried or concerned for my mom's physical health. Even now I'm not worried even if she becomes fully healed or it ends "badly" and that is because I know that my mom is a beloved child of God and that our God is sovereign meaning that He is fully in control. AMAZING RIGHT! I thank God for His grace in guiding/growing my theology these past couple of years to fully grasp the immeasurable richness of God's Sovereignty as more than just a concept or phrase, but as a ever present reality. God doesn't drive an ambulance. He doesn't panic or get caught off guard, therefore I know that whatever this is, I am certain that it is not punitive, but in some great and awesome way according to God's Sovereign Will that all of this no matter how it ends, it is an act of mercy and it is ultimately ALL for our good and His glory. Selah. 

PRESENT DAY

My mom is doing well now although she is adjusting and healing from surgery. It was an early detection and the type of cancer she has is curable, but hard to detect. A prayer that I have been praying for my mom(and for others) has been that in light of this that she wouldn't just change how she physically lives her life but it would open up her eyes to focus on what truebdetrueb matters in life, living for Jesus Christ. Fighting for JOY! And its been a joy and a blessing to see God do a work through His Holy Spirit in my mother and myself these past weeks. We still aren't where we ought to be, but by the grace of God He is being more and more enjoyed and glorified. The relationship with my mom has gotten [deep]er. It's amazing! There is so much more to spiel and so much more to rant upon. I thank God for suffering well and for everything else He has done and is doing and will do.

Soli Deo Gloria!

Dear God,

I want/yearn/ache to love You more than I do now. Please in my sweet disposition help me to stay focused and not whorrebly forget You and Your immeasurable value nor Your Holy attributes such as Your Sovereignty, but instead by Your grace may I be ever growing [deep]er in [this], in YOU. I LOVE YOU! Press it [deep]er in me. No, not just me, but US. Press it [deep]er in us. Whatever it takes. Let it be. You are my Delight. 

love,

Jean Patrick Fisher

What is [it] you're NOT seeing? There are five questions pulled from my minds end and placed in the hands of my heart that emit from this ONE question; (these questions "must" be asked - whether directly or indirectly) 1. Does it matter? 2. Why? (In response to the answer of #1 even if the answer is "I don't know) 3. What is [it]? 4. Why don't you see [it]? 5. How do you see [it]? God, help me... Selah

There have been many questions in my minds end and many Holy Spirit lead biblical convictions pressed on my heart when I think about my God given ministries; The three big ones are; Fullerton = Running about with Ben and Fiona in the dorms and building relationships and sharing the gospel with people in and out of class, Walnut = Family specifically leading my mother as the man in the house, my padawons, IMPACT, WHS, the list is long for this area of my life and its truebdetrueb a blessing! And then there is Chino Hills = HCBC the church that God has called me to and sovereignly placed me in. All of these ministries are both a blessing and a struggle and its a bloody and blistering yet beautiful to see God glorified and the final salvation of the many happen in so many ways. Soli Deo Gloria! 

God's Word is so amazing and here are just a FEW of the MANY Words from my One True Love that I have to take into account in light of the ministries and missions God has gracefully given to me to steward and partake in.

[[Amos 5:21-24, Psalm 51:16-17, Psalm 127:1-2, Revelation 2-3 specifically the church in Ephesus, Sardis, and Ladoicea.]]

(sidenote: Look! Hey! DON'T FORGET TO FLAP YOUR GRACE GIVEN WINGS YOU WHORREBLY FORGETFUL STUPID DUCK.)

So here is the question, "What will be our trajectory for 2012 and beyond? Where are we going? How are we going to get there?"

We don't want to focus on programs or events, but we desire to be a means of grace that builds biblical relationships founded and centered on the gospel. It is out of these relationships we gracefully build (deconstructing the things of the world such as culture/traditions/religion and reconstructing Christ and what is biblical sound doctrine - Good Applied Theology or to put it simply knowing who God is and what the Bible says, listening to it and heeding it with our God given lives) disciples who make disciples for the glory of God and the final salvation of the many and this is prevalent through more than just Friday night bible studies and other planned events, but it takes place[supernaturally + organically + spontaneously + naturally + prayfully] in car rides, texts, Facebook, one on one conversations, group conversations, at a drop of a hat, and/or in response to something minuscule or pivotal - in Celebrating, Recreating, Eating, Listening/Loving, and Blessing one another through ANY and ALL parts of life this is what we've labeled as (CRELBing). We don't desire a trajectory that makes what "church" is to seem cultural or "normal" which starts and ends like school or a social club, but we long to breakthrough from this type of "church" and point to something beyond the name of HCBC, a compartmentalized church, and/or a religious empire.

The Gospel is the Crux/Cornerstone/Denouement of EVERYTHING we do and hope to do. No matter where we go or what we do both in failure and success, we never ever ever ever want to leave the Gospel, but rather by the GRACE of God, we want to FIGHT for JOY by forever growing [deeper] and [deeper] in the Gospel. And we will get there NOT by the works of sinful men, but we will be on our knees -our sweet disposition(that we are whorrebly and totally helpless and in need of God)- in constant pleading/prayer and saturation in the Word of God in order to be lead and strengthened by the Holy Spirit. Holy Anguish, Gutsy Guilt, Full Joy, Overwhelming Peace, Suffering Well, and an Unfailing Love are just some of the many glorious things lavished upon us by the grace of God through the Gospel!

[[[Three Things we hold onto tightly as a Gospel Centered Community on Mission]]]

1. Building transparent gospel centered real honest relationships with one another through gospel centered accountability-discipleship-family like gatherings-getting involved in all areas of life with one another-its about building [deep] connections- in order that we may reflect the Truths of the Bible such as being the continuation of the church of Acts -> Acts 29 -> [GCC] Gospel Centered Living to Gospel Centered Community on Mission living out Gospel Centered Communism. For example, for New Years Eve and a bunch of my friends, my padawons, and fambam all just gathered and we ate food, played ping pong, read/shared/encouraged one another with Scripture, conversed, laughed, loved one another, CRELBed, and praised God together and it honestly felt more like true church more than some Sunday gatherings.

2. Emphasizing the immeasurable value of God. Showing the beauty, joy, and vitality of the Gospel seizing ALL parts of our lives; As leaders this is what we hope to display and we know we won't be perfect at it, but its in our messy struggle of living that the Gospel shines so beautifully bright. Living out a life that has God being the sole-weight of our lives and we want to do [this] BEYOND a classroom type setting and even more so beyond the four walls in which the church gathers periodically, but rather through the relationships that God empowers us to build we hope to lovingly shine [this]

(You see we want to be transparent with one another even if it means exposing and proclaiming our sins and how whorrible stupid we are and how badly we fail, we don't want to put up a church front/mask or build relationships that look like this, "How are you?" "Oh I'm FINE(that's the christian F word) just struggling with school and junk" "Oh okay I'll pray for you" *but in reality you don't or you forget to pray for them) All this talk about TRANSPARENCY is all so that we can be real with one another truebdetrueb gospel one another as we were called. We gospel one another(our fellow stupid sinners saved by the grace of God) because Jesus Christ gospeled us! We show grace to one another because of the grace of God and by the grace of God)

3. We shall do this as if it was like digging for immeasurable treasure. We fight for Joy in God because only in Him is fullness of joy. We wage war against sin together as the Body/Bride of Christ. We are running about, not wasting our lives on temporal obsessions, but rather living out the ultimate adventure. We live in God's Word. No excuses. Running and at times falling, but always being picked up by His Grace to run again as the justified runners we are. Striving for radical Christianity and a robust faith that is ready to suffer and die for the Gospel. By the grace of God we aren't who we used to be though we aren't who we ought to be, but our longing/striving/fighting to be legit followers of Christ with a reckless abandonment will be refined in us by His grace. What we do is ALL a gift and a fight.

Life is messy and we can't force the Holy Spirit to work nor can we force anyone to love God(initially or more) or feel loved by God - that is NOT our job or calling. Oh our sweet disposition! So then how do we plan? What are Biblical pragmatics? What are the fruits and purpose of our leadership meetings? Vertically we PLAN dates with God in a grace/fight we grow in our intimacy with God. Therefore, how do we plan that through the horizontal with one another? What are Biblical objectives, quantified goals, organization structures, methods, approaches, strategies(to accomplish goals and objectives), programs, activities, financial budgets, and benchmarks? If the church is a Trellis and Vine then I see and totally get the Vine, but what is a good and healthy trellis? Whats the balance? How we plan or initiate this gospel trajectory? How do we biblically operate in a conduct that isn't like the world similar to a business/corporation/school which is based on social norms, politics, human philosophy, culture, and other worldly crap? How do we be the church the Bible calls us to be? I agree with Francis Chan when he said, "Sometimes I don't enjoy reading the book of Acts because rarely do I ever finish reading about the early church in Acts and say WOW! That's just like my church, but rather its just the opposite" I totally agree because the church in Acts sound so unrealistic and supernatural and powerful and amazingly beautiful/desirable. And I read about it and my heart and soul shout, "I want THAT! I yearn for THIS!" It sounds so good and true! That's what church is! I want that! Holy Ambition! And we know it was only possible because of the power of the Holy Spirit, so then the next question is this, how do we "tap" into this power or "plug" into this power through our planning? I see by the grace of God. the Vision, the Calling, the challenges, the people, the souls at stake, the resources, the wants, the needs, the Joy, the anguish, and so much MORE! By the grace of God I see it, not as fully as I ought, but I see [IT]! And I'll be honest, I have a plan thats grown by Holy Spirit lead convictions.

Ahh! So then why am I in a wrestle/struggle as to what to do and how to lead and how to Biblically + pragmatically plan and lead [this]? You see I've been told to many times that I high expectations that are too high or that I'm too idealistic and extreme and radical or that what I'm saying is not practical or realistic or possible or other excuses/lies such as I'm too theological and/or complicated. But honestly, I really am not! I'm very simple. I simply read God's Word as truth and by grace through faith strive to live in it. It's Simple Faith not Complicated Works! And I think that's one of the things wrong with "churches" nowadays. Church is filled with complicated works and as we as a body of Christ try to run about for the glory of God these complicated works are like HEAVY STRINGS that tie us up and trip us making us fall down in our lots of our running about and in our passionate pursuit of God. It's making church aka the body of Christ into something its not! But if the church has this simple faith that is ever growing [deep]er(a Simple(deep) Faith) then by God's grace + power the church(which is the people NOT the building) will find themselves soaring freely and high like eargles. Live to die and flap your wings you stupid duck! Embrace your sweet disposition -its simple!- You are whorrebly and desperately helpless and God's grace is the only thing sufficient for you. 

Therefore all else in my hopes that we live out and proclaim till the day we die(which is GAIN!), "EMBRACE surrenderance! Look to Jesus! Cuz apart from Christ, what else do we truebdetrueb have?

Finally, all of this is a work in progress(story of my life). By the grace of God there is so much more to be added and refined, but forever and always Soli Deo Gloria!

Selah 

Child of God, do you know who you are?

If the church aka the children of God (Christians individually and corporately) look like the world, talk like the world, think like the world, act like the world, respond like the world, find joy in the same things the world does, what will the WORLD think? What will brethren think? What will we ourselves think?

And I'm not saying that Christians can never sin. We will sin just as the world does yet not as the world does. Though we ought not to sin but wage war against it because of the gospel we strive not to, but being sinners we will sin. The world sins and we will sin but not like how the world sins. Because the world sins in darkness and responds as one in the dark thus they dwell in it, but we are not in the dark, we are in the light and when we sin, we sin as ones in the light because Christ has brought us in the light with all sins exposed, confessing repenting, being loved, and shown immeasurable grace from God because as we were yet sinners Christ died for us. These are things that the world can never imitate nor manufacture.

So when the gospel impacts a man it changes EVERYTHING.

The Gospel is the FREE gift of God that costs you your life.

What will it cost you to follow Jesus Christ?
Will it be REASONABLE RISK or RECKLESS ABANDONMENT?
What has/is following Christ costing you?

Does the flow of my life make sense in light of the gospel and in light of eternity? 

There has been a lot of heavy convictions and it has caused me to focus so much more on gospel centeredness and especially being on the mission. I love it! Because when I am this obsessed about God and captivated by Him, ALL the temporal obsessions of this world such as school, grades, money, ping pong, porn, food, things that cause worry or stress, etc. all just seem so much smaller and insignificant.

Following Christ is counter cultural and it ought to get weird and crazy because we have a great and crazy love. As a result I feel out of sync with the rest of the world because the song of my life is not in harmony with the flow of the world, but it harmonizes beautifully and wonderfully with the Will of God, this is the gospel rhythm and living on mission - doing all things for the glory of God and the final salvation of the many. I love it! This is my joy and delight! Living for anything else fails me, only leaving me dry and empty, lost and confused, going nowhere.

So light of all this why would I ever hold anything back? I will give up what I cannot keep, to gain what I cannot lose. I will follow Jesus Christ even if it costs me my life because He is worth it and He is gain. Selah.

Dear God,

Please sustain me and incline me because I am so prone to wander, already I can feel the world threatening me with lies like, "get back in sync with us or else you'll fail all your classes and become a hobo and you'll be a disappointment to your family!" Even if that is true, I don't want to lose this focus on You and with eternity stamped on my eyes and the love of God engraved in my heart and the gospel intertwined with ever fiber of my being I desire more of God, I don't want to be LUKEWARM, I don't want the church to be LUKEWARM, I want us to do everything for the glory of God and the final salvation of the many. Keep this fire blazing in my soul. You are a Consuming Fire. Unashamed, unreserved, unrestricted worship of the life is what I want to offer You because there is no place I would rather be then in Your Love and Grace and nothing else I would rather do that the things for Your glory and the final salvation of the many. Therefore help me, because I can't live like this without You.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Jean Patrick Fisher

I find it gets harder and harder for me to update this Xanga which grieves my spirit because Xanga truly was my first really step into articulating my thoughts and conveying my feelings about God and life. I started this 2671 days ago. Nowadays I find myself CRElbing and its been a joyous adventure to just be running about for the glory of God and the final salvation of the many; living a gospel-centered life on mission instead of a me-centered life where all I am doing is just drifting nowhere fast. 

And as of now I find myself procrastinating on English homework and thus here I am on Xanga again after so long. I'm not even sure if I am going to post this blog because its become a bad habit of mine to just delete fully written blogs before even posting them because I get frustrated at how insufficient they are in saying what I truebdetrueb want to say. So as to whether or not this current blog will see the light of day, we shall soon find out. (Of course if you are already reading this then it has)

Updating my beloved Xanga has become like a beconstifusingly enormous monster that just grows bigger and bigger as my life goes on and on. It is a monster that waits patiently for me to come and defeat, but I've been shrugging it off for far too long because I'll be honest, it is hard to figure out where to start because there is just so much to be said because God has done so much refining in my life and there is so many God glorifying dominoes that have fallen and I want to do this justice. Heart comes first, that's always true. Syntax, diction and grammar will always come second. This whole blog so far feels as though I am meeting up with a dear close friend after not seeing them in forever and while talking over some hot chocolate or coffee there is just so much blessings and struggles and growth and thoughts and precious moments/memories in both of our lives that it becomes a difficult task to capture it all in one coherent spiel for the other person to absorb and take in and enjoy. Yup, that's exactly how I feel about this Xanga. Lord, help me.
 

But if I find myself going nowhere, if I find myself lost and confused, if I find myself wanting nothing, what am I supposed to do?
 

God and the gospel never gets mundane or distasteful to the fibers of my being. There is always so much MORE I want to write and rant and CRElb and always in a better way I hope to articulate and remember it all. 

God is infinite.

Reminds me of when I used to look up at the stars after sneaking out of my house through my window to go on dates with God. I just remember looking at the endless dark sky illuminated by all of these twinkling stars and the beautiful moon -full moons were always my favorite because the reflection on my pool would illuminate my whole backyard. It would put me in awe as I thought about God who created ALL of THIS and more while listening to Joshua Jhun's song "Thank You" I too couldn't help wonder how could this God love me so much. Oh how He loves us! Even now looking back at it all in the memory bank of my minds end, it brings me to tears as I gazed and look towards Infinity. And I don't mean the stars or the moon, I mean God. God is infinite. There is a reason why I don't sneak outside to look at the stars anymore and its because it gets boring. But God is infinite and infinite never gets exhausted or boring. The moon and stars truebdetrueb get boring and mundane, but God will never get boring. He is True Infinity. And what I would tell Calvin is this, "You were so close, but you missed it! The stars and the moon are amazing and wondeful, but they are not infinite, but they are pointers to a Being that is even more amazing and wonderful and INFINITE! They point to God! Thats why I had devotionals outside because I needed to be pointed to God because to be honest I am so prone to wander and lose focus and wretchedly forget, but once the pointer does its job, I'm no longer looking at the pointer, but the Pointed. And yes, Calvin, because of this SIGHT I live my life so very differently! I have realized that there is something so much more important than what people do everyday, something more important than all the temporal obsessions of this world or even the wondrous pointers themselves. One thing remains when the question is asked, "What is most important or what truly matters at the end of it ALL?" The One Thing of most and first and greatest and truest and highest importance is JESUS CHRIST. You and I were made to worship. You and I were called to LOVE. Every single man's soul is filled with a cavern for Christ -aching and yearning and needy desire for the Infinite, but most people just deny/suppress this truth and its killing them, its leading to there destruction. LOOK! Look at infinity and see the truth! Only one life twill soon be past cuz only whats done for Christ will last."

If you find yourself going nowhere, LOOK TO JESUS! If you find yourself lost and confused, LOOK TO JESUS! If you find yourself wanting nothing, LOOK TO JESUS! That's what you ought to do. 

Dear God,

There is always so much MORE. Forever and always.

I love you,

Jean Patrick Fisher

I saw my friend wearing a shirt that says, "Hello, I'm Awesome!" and it really got me thinking, "No, that is a lie! I am the only one that is awesome!" - I'm kidding of course, because that would be an even BIGGER lie. But seriously, the more I started thinking about this shirt, the more I started realizing how ridiculous it is. I mean what kind of a stupid shirt is that? And I'm sorry if you have one of those shirts, but I'll be honest in love, that this a stupid lie to wear. If I were to ever be Christian T-shirt designer, I would love/pray to one day design or see the T-shirt(V-necks are the way to go though) that says,

Hello, I'm a DAMNABLE SINNER!

now that would be the bold truth that the world and the church needs to see and remember; for we are only damnable sinners saved by GRACE.

All are under sin, no one is righteous, no not one, no one understands, no one seeks for God, all have turned aside, together they have become worthless... for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God!

We need to know and remember [THIS] because

For the wages of sin is DEATH, but the free gift of God is eternal LIFE in Christ Jesus our Lord.

-Romans 6:23

Dear God,

thank you for sending Redemption, I love you. Help me to remember this, Your Gospel, and proclaim this with love and boldness to the world and to the church for Your Glory and the final salvation of the few who by grace find the Narrow Path. 

Soli Deo Gloria,

J.P. Fisher

dear xanga,

It's been a while, and far too long. I miss you.
I've been staring at you for quite sometime now,
the words are surging deep within in my heart and my minds end.
I see them clearly and they're ready to beautifully implode,
but they won't pour out how they need too.
Not yet.
They are such important God given words to spiel and rant;
delicious and sweet thoughts about God to unpack.
blessings and convictions to share, remember, and act upon.
sins to transparently confess and repent from.
holy anguish for the lost/apostates/lukewarm to lay down.
memories. dreams. poetry. spoken word. stories. songs. plays. questions. answers.
so much to be said. so much needs to be said. so much needs to be heard.
But the heart comes first. syntax and diction and grammar comes second. 

patience. this is a black paper clip. my narcissistic writing style that I strive to glorify God with. its narcissistic because I write for myself with very few consideration for any passerby that comes across these silly little blog posts except for the earnest prayer that though my words be by far imperfect and inadequate and sometimes even stupid, I pray and plead that if you do read this that you would realize God's love for you all the more. So I write for myself yet I write praying for others although ultimately the reason why I write is all for God's glory. Soli Deo Gloria.
 
God help me,

Jean Patrick Fisher

p.s. Future me, I am dreadfully and with all due respect sorry if this post embarrasses you, but you'll read this after a while and see how far God has taken you since now to then or from your perspective then and now, you'll laugh and smile and maybe shed a tear because God did not just leave you alone here. haha that unintentionally rhymed. And the best part is that there is infinitely more to come, just you wait and see, more of God to have and love and with Him more intimacy. What could be better? The answer will forever and always be, nothing is better than God. You can have all that this world has to have, but give me Jesus. Selah.
 

[black paper clip begin]
Humanities beconstifusingly new age downfall was indeed the chrome experiments of pleasure upon the arrival of the semi evil metronomes rising from the distant twilight of the now and not yet of time forsaking the Sun of the solar system which by cause and effect has shown abnormalities rivaling the genesis destructotron level of massive fracturing implications and proportions in which is to simply say, that a unique environmental space flux capacitance easily dispilitated into an anti gravity shazaam capsule was thus foolishly implementing an new found universal war to the 982th degree preceding the treaty between the president of the left side and the fallen red king has now become inebriated with fallacies similar to the trademark of the Trickster and Grim the son of Father Time and Mother Nature whom by transparent summer’s legend has been foretold the arrival of Death for the jealousy uprising from the son’s complex which as originally stated by the exiled emperor from the schism paradox republic of anarchy thrice defeating order within society to the Whale King proclaims which in that all this does not really exist nor at all makes any genuine logic yet populace fritter away their short short short lives on more stupider things also labeled temporal obsessions than this sentence and it does not make any more sense than this because of the brotherhood galaxy space police’s personal yet properly endeavored convictions to infiltrate the adversaries pedestals bringing forth some beacon of serendipitous hope before the inquiry can be inquired within yet and not yet recreating the planes of all things good and as a result the grey area zones seem to have become restricted due to the reverberations going counter juxtaposition between the stupidity kingdom in the paradigm shifting of favorite colors and perceptions finalizing a filtered neon ordinance of exactly .0010023% and although it is not accurate it is without argument by far the greatest fixed point of time in the wibbley wobbley timey wimey ball of mess echoing the plastering of a boom sha ka la ka la ka to cut up scenes split and splattered unto the white retro-spectrum of the universe's seemingly dark wall that is also debatably white thus creating a simplified manner of understanding for time travel and theories that do not coherently coincide with the Movements judgment upon the butterfree effect between the day that was and almost was contradicting yet supporting the note of life in a similar fashion upon the eve and dawn of one still point in time as the red eyed super yetis make love in a hanky panky conduct of divinity and spontaneity to the sobering calibrations of snapback physics and iPhonic technological theories that people all to quickly get bored of because they are thirsty and therefore intrinsically begin summarizing a proper proportion reconciling the series of unfortunate events to dislocating the gaias from Ss² Energy encapsulation requirements for the Surgers that thus modify profound quantum wunder waffle laws for a heralding of the last Vorpal Runner whom utilizes thunder typing gear and a basic energy system banned by the legitimate Mantle of legitness left alone by the Core by Thy’s Will which reigns above the crust of life and the messiness of scourging which so is apparently metagamed and top tiered of its hyper speed force glue rivals exculpating the redirection of opposites and negaopposites resounding a back feed loopy loop which are triple deadlock sealed as proven by the faith that has yet to be disqualified by operations of the answer more to be a poeima of undeniability, but not to be mistaken for the answer or solution to the question, but simply just the answer likewise befalling the death of this paragraph which is in all of my minds end furthering a distant reality brought closer in summary to say that this is indeed truebdetrueb a sentence that cannot be
[black paper clip end]

p.s.s. Future me, if you ever become an apostate I will seriously time travel to the future and beat you up WITH LOVE till you remember how great God is and see your sinful stupidity. 

Dear God,

thank you for getting rid of my writer's block and for graciously and lovingly waterfalling my head and heart with new dashing wonderful passionate thoughts and ideas and words and stories and poems and praises and rants and messages etc. etc. all for Your glory and renown and praise. Sparks are beconstifusingly flying and the rusted gears are spinning and twirling and buzzing all about in a lovely sort of gospel centered manner. Its beautiful! You are BEAUTIFUL! Soli Deo Gloria! Truebdetrueb at the end of the day no matter what, all I desire is just more and more and more of You. I love You. You love me. And even when I don't always feel it, I know that I am dearly LOVED. my life in Your hands, forever always.

love,

Jean Patrick Fisher

p.s. [The anthem of my minds end is holy contrition.] 

sometimes sorrowful and anguished yet ALWAYS rejoicing - sometimes burdened and tired yet ALWAYS at peace and power. 

Dear Abba,

IT 
is 
well 
with 
my 
soul. 

Please help and teach and engrave these words to all the fibers of my being, so that when I am asked about the status of my life or soul, I may with all sincerity and honesty without a doubt or any hesitation, but instead with truth and conviction, no matter the season, I may proclaim, "IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL."

Love,
Jean Patrick Fisher 

P.S. Is it me or is God good? 

The You're Stupid Sermon!

Now let me tell you why you're stupid! I have six points to tell you why exactly you're stupid.
1. Just plain and simple, there is nothing to it, you are just plain stupid!
2. Sin is stupid, you sin, therefore you are a sinner, thus you're stupid.
3. I'm stupid and you're listening to me for "advice" therefore, you're stupid. 
4. Now when you are in a room with a two year old, you may be smart, but when you are in a room with an infinite and all knowing God, guess what!?! You're stupid!
5. Intrinsic or similar to point number 2 where you are a sinner because of your acts and because of your doing, even more so, you are not only a sinner because of what you do but by your condition and by your nature, therefore, it's by your natural condition that you are stupid. 
6. You choose to worship the creation over the Creator, to cherish the gifts above the Giver, you forsake the Greatest Thing in all the universe (the thing that you were made for) for crap. That my friend makes you horribly horribly stupid. 
But praise God, that even though we are too stupid to ever understand our need for Him and to ever call upon His name; He is faithful and good, and its by His grace and His mercy and His love that we stand before Him unashamed. Not because of anything that you or I have done, but because what Jesus Christ has done. It's undeniable that you're stupid, but Christ came to save the stupid sinners. Soli Deo Gloria!