[UPDATE]

-I FOUND MY FUTURE WIFE!!! Hahah just kidding! ;D

-Had some really really good sushi at Kichijoji and bought some dragon fruit!

-Can't capitalize the "p" in J.p. Fisher on my Facebook. #firstworldproblems (lol at my first hashtag) 

-Went to a Japanese church and it felt really good just to gather and worship God in English and Japanese songs with some of the less than 1% brethren saved by grace who live in Japan and shine as a lights in a thick field of darkness. 

-Continuing to build relationships at different God ordained paces and marinating them in earnest prayer.

-Learning to communicate and edify souls better through team interactions and conflicts. God is definitely refining and growing me in areas that I did not foresee and I pray that they would be prevalent and helpful for when I return home to continue living life on mission. 

-Finally shared my three minute life story to a classroom of Japanese Highschool students and I got to share my full testimony to some souls along with engaging in really good spiritual conversations.

-I joyfully found a really nice park by my apartment where I have sweet morning worship runs and delectable date night time with Jesus Christ.

-I heart breakingly found out that there are open stripclubs/prostitution shops back to back in one alley near my apartments and it has faces of different Japanese girls with clear censor bars covering their eyes and whorreble "cheap" price tags next to them. AAAHHHH! Seeing this really boils my blood, wakes me up, and fills my soul with holy anguish! I already knew prostitution is legal here, but I didn't think I'd see it so close to "home" and open. 

-I am constantly being reminded to why me and my team brethren are here. Because the good news of Jesus Christ, everything that He is and everything that He did and does, is really really good and only He has the power to save lost souls from the bondage of sins, only He can overcome even the most deep and dark depraved and cynical things, only He can save lost souls from eternal damnation, only He can forever satisfy and bring everlasting joy to hungering souls searching the world for purpose. AND He does work and overcome and save and satisfy! AND HE USES US, imperfect and inadequate people, for His perfect plan! OH the Gospel IT WORKS! THE GOSPEL WORKS! Two lost souls came to the faith today through God using my team brethren! See, this Gospel works! Have confidence in Christ my fellow brothers and sisters. SOLI DEO GLORIA!

-Found out how to say teleportation in Japanese; Shunkan Idou!

-Visited Waseda and Rikkyo campuses = such a blessing!

-Seeing and savoring the glory of God daily!

-Blessed to finally be truebedetrueb transparent with the brothers on my team through a [deep] grace driven night of confessing sins, spiritual warfare we've felt, struggles, and where we are actually at. Such a joy to be able to be honest about EVERYTHING and see God's grace in action and feel the love of God shown to me through my brothers despite how much of mess I am and I'm blessed to love my brothers with Christ love as well. And now we can better help keep one another accountable especially as spiritual warfare has been very prevalent in our group.

-Sanctified and humbled so much by God working in our team, I find myself relying less and less on my abilities/talents/skills and in seeing more and more of my inadequacies even in areas where I felt I was confidently "strong" in, as a result I boast all the more that God is awesome and He is at work. This point is much more "painful" then I can describe, but its increasingly more beautiful because I enjoy more of Him and that is my heart's desire even if its painful.

-Still heavily struggling with many things from lust to pride to insecurities and uncertainties to [DM], but God sustains me with His grace and my eyes rest upon His love. 

-Being poured out as a living sacrifice for the glory of God and the final salvation of the many(I know I use this phrase a lot and to many it may just be jargon or Christianese, but I really mean it when I say it with every fiber of my being) in Tokyo and it is totally worth it!

-Running about with cautious care, compassionate consideration, and meaningful maturity in ways I've never quite done so before and I'm still stumbling every now and then, but grace abounds and I press on!

-Starting to get a little homesick or rather really curious as to how certain souls are doing now and yearning to be with them, but I know my God given time is not done here. Keeping my eyes on the mission and the prize!

-Realizing more how vital intimate and serious prayer and personal time with God has been for being and staying on mission and perserving over the grimy spiritual warfare we've been experiencing. 

Please don't stop praying for me, my team, and the souls in Japan.

More souls to pray for: Itsuki, Yuta, Katsayaki, Ayuma, Hiromasa, Yoshinoba, Akira, Yohei, Kento, Satoshi, Eita, Mashito, Yuhi, Yuri, Takuma, Airi, Hikari, Audrey, and more souls to come if the Lord wills. 

 

-J.P. Fisher

[Heres a quick update]

-Finished training and prep and finally running about with souls in Japan and engaging them on multiple levels for the glory of God and the final salvation of the many. Its hard, but such a joy!

-My multiculturally diverse team keeps on being an ever increasing and continual encouragement to my soul to keep pressing on.

-Fridays(my time) are officially my/our sabbaths which has been very fruitful in reinvigorating my weak and imperfect soul, stirring my affections for God, and fueling my passion for missions.

-Found out that one lost soul came to know Christ this week! Praise the Trinity and please keep that soul in your prayers. May the grace of God sustain His faith.

-Finished reading the book of Job, but I most definitely haven't finished enjoying it.

-Koenji is becoming my other hometown and I'm definitely working my way around here despite my whorreble and funny inadequacies(you should see me ordering food by myself) and I found a lovely park to run to for morning worship runs. 

-Been having crazy vivid dreams and remembering/logging them in my CRElb(maybe I'll share some Lord willing soon)

-Had the best ramen of my life so far today; Food is good, but God is better.

 

List of souls that my fellow heralds of the Gospel can pray for: Kyeongmin, Hideaki, Katsu, Makoto, Soma, Yuki, Kodai, Rintaro, Shuntaro, Kohei, Takumi, Kodai, Yuki, Tomokazu, Yuta, Takuma, Heizo, Kento, Ryogo, and more to come. 

Updates will probably come less daily and perhaps once or twice a week(one on Saturday which will be our Sabbaths and one when time permits) as life here really begins to pick up the pace. This will give me more to say per update and more time to just pray and focus on what God is doing here and now instead of feeling tied down to have to update this blog daily. 

So heres the update in no particular chronological order, just by whatever comes to my minds end first:

-There appears to be no apparent jetlag hindering my running about, PRAISE THE TRINITY!

-We are still getting some final training done here in Tokyo before we go into the campuses, but I have really been blessed by all the prayer and prep along with the ongoing bonding between my team brethren.

-Please pray for my 1st Mentor in life as he is on his own mission trip in Haiti and I'm told that a couple mornings ago, there have been gunshots in the slum area next to their compound where they are serving.

-"It is official, I am no longer the current Whale King." -J.P. Fisher

-Had my first sushi in Japan(SOOOO GOOOOOD that it stirs the affections of my soul for God!!!)

-Blessed by meeting older men of God, Uncle Kam and Omar, who have zealously been serving the Lord faithfully here in Japan with their families  for over 10 years and how they keep reminding us that success isn't in the number of converts one makes, but its in one's faithfulness to God. It has reminded me rightly of Jon Lim's GPA Theorem(http://jonlim4.tumblr.com/post/19617685432/9-reminders-while-studying-1-6-gpa-4-0-gpa)

-[Deep] introspection of my CURRENT sins and struggles while on missions and confessing+surrendering it all to Christ! I am still a bi-polar skitzophrat in the faith, but despite my long list of whorreble sins and struggles, God still uses me graciously and its amazing!

-Learning about the pack, the parrot, and the pass for the glory of God and the final salvation of the many.

-[DM] is still a struggle, even here in Japan, especially during prep or when my mind wanders. "What separates an evangelist's lure and life story from a PUA's opener and routine?" -[DM]. But God's grace has been violent in sustaining my [focus] despite the spiritual warfare and I know that even though things are still just getting started and will only get more difficult from here, His grace will be what I need.

-Reminded of good and bad memories on my mission trip to Thailand four years ago and I find myself in total awe of how different I am now due to God's refining/maturing work of my soul over the past years. 

-Seeing God's sovereignty as to why He put me in the team that I am in and so much more God glorifying dominoes that are falling!

-Sweet Gospel Centered Thoughts flooding the attic of my minds end fuel my passion for missions. Soli Deo Gloria!

-Praying about my Lord Willing future and timeline and holy ambitions in light of what God has been exposing me to.

 

If you have any questions or want any specifics let me know and I'll add it in my next update.

grace and peace, trials and suffering, our joy and His glory!

 

"The most important thing this summer is not your performance as a ministry machine. The most important thing is your vitality as a child of God - available and yielding to the Spirit's power"

The right quote at the right time.

Finally here in Tokyo.

Words cannot express my tiredness. Fighting off jet lag for the glory of God and the final salvation of the many!

Its passed 9 p.m. here therefore its finally time to rest well. Better update later. Keep praying, this is where the fun really begins!

 

So due to the times in which I blog, I realise my timeline may not be in synched, but I'm sure it will all make sense if you understand my schedule and how I'm writing things at the end of the day/start of the next day but speaking as if it was still that day. Make sense? Wibbley wobbley timey wimey ball of mess.

But we've been at the airport since 2:30 a.m. waiting for our flight. No time nor energy to update how the last day of briefing was, but lots of blessings and grace abounding, elaborate later.

"Oh how sweet the Gospel sounds to ears like mine!"

Almost there. 

Soli Deo Gloria!

So today was another day of prep. Woke up at 7:30 to have a cool morning worship run with a brother in Christ and followed that up with an exhilarating hot shower date with God in sweet solitude. Twas a beautiful way to start my day and although I was a bit tired physically, my soul was well rested and God provided me with a power nap that gave me my second wind to last me the rest of the day. I don't know what else to say, there has just been lots of information being soaked into the fibers of my being from understanding how my teammates are wired by God to the weekly schedule of the mission trip once we get to Japan(I will probably post that tomorrow) in order to prep me and my team brethren for this mission to Tokyo. Topics we have learned thus far are, love God, love my team, learn a new world, and tomorrow is launch a movement. The MC of this mission briefing is holy hilarious if I may add. Spiels about donuts to the d-train will be added to my list of sermonable experiences and holy anecdotes. 

Learning more and more about the individual souls on my God given team is such a blessing. Although there are still some I'd love to have deeper one on one conversations with, but I know that it will come in God's perfect timing. The overall team relationship is really picking up, we are still whorrebly messy sinners in constant need of grace and God help us for we are going to sin against God and one another, but oh may the Gospel shine beautiful in our [deep] intimate holy relationships with one another so that the masses may see that the strength of our group is not how we are binded by many little temporal things, but how we are captivated together by one eternal and gloriously life altering Thing. Therefore, I can see where we will really need God's grace and where we are strong in certain areas and where we are lacking in others due to how our team dynamics seem to be flowing, but I'm certain that linking arms with these brethren to run about in Tokyo will be totally legit. I'm also excited to hear everyone's testimonies, we shared how God has brought us all here to summer project, but we still have yet to share how God has brought us HERE here. 

"How have I been doing personally?" My time with God has been unexaggeratingly delicious and because of that I've been doing worshipfully well. Praise the Trinity! But Ill be honest, part of me wishes I could shadow clone myself in order to be here doing all this while also running about in my other communities like EPIC, Walnut brethren, my local church, etc. and another part of me just really wants to fast forward getting to know one another(not that I don't want to know them, but its just that I'd love to get it done "quicker") and then get to sharing the Gospel to the lost souls while another part is thankful for God's providence with the prep time and pacing He has us in, but then another there is a whorreble part of me that just sinfully wants to bail out on all this and run away to be indulging in fleshly me-centered desires.

So there are obvious blessings that make me shout songs of praise to my God, but let it be known that there are still indeed internal struggles, so keep praying for me and the rest of my teammates because I am still a bi-polar skitzophrat in the faith harped upon by [DM], but His grace is violently and indelibly proving to sustain me. "If you look at your God given days, you'll always have time for priority number one. So the question is, 'Who or what is priority number one in your day/season/life?'"

SELAH

 

So what do you want/desire your team to be like?

The following is what my team came up with for mission team norms. It took us awhile to come up with these, but I enjoyed the process and it was worth it.

[Gospel Centered Norms]

1. Be an intentional and loving community

2. Resolve conflicts in a godly timely way

3. Respect the T's: Tokyo, teammates, time(Ten minutes early is on time)

4. Uplift each other in prayer, accountability, and words (P.A.W.)

5. Holy (and Wise) Carpe Diem!

 

Finally, the holy doctor inside of the fibers of my being is prescribing the TGC 2013 David Platt message on missions in order to take care of any remaining anxiety and cowardice thats mixed into the excitement and curiosity for what is to come in Tokyo. 

 

Every Disciple Making Disciples, Every Church Multiplying Churches - David Platt (TGC13 Workshop) from The Gospel Coalition on Vimeo.

 

ENJOY!

So this is what I pray/plead my pre-bed/rest ritual will look like after any late night talks with brethen of course and in this following order: 1. Commune with God 2. CRElb plus Gospel presentation for the day 3. General update blog on Xanga 4. personal email updates 5. Sweet prayers till I sleep with optional listening to David Brainerd or Worship Music. And my goal is to sleep before 1:30 a.m. with the highest priorities on 1. and 5.

God help me(us)!

So here is a list of my team members that you can pray for and "fun facts/first line of thoughts that come to my minds end about them":

Adriana Yaw - She has a twin thats also going on missions so it was like one person having to raise double(12,000 dollars) due to their many mutual relationships. Oh and she is the other Asian on the team lol

Gabe Icaza - Pancakes and syrup! Long story, but this brother in Christ raised his funds in like 2 weeks going from 40 dollars to 6,000 plus. Blessed by his open outgoingness whenever he shares. 

Heather Brainerd - OMG! She is related to David Brainerd, so I officially get to say that I had class with a relative of Charles Spurgeon(a year ago his name was Joseph Spurgeon) and now I am going on a mission trip with a relative of David Brainerd. She is also a team leader and says that she's a "cryer". 

Jessica Jimenez - She goes to USC along with Gabe and I'm really excited to intentionally talk and get to know not only my brothers, but also my sisters in Christ whom I feel really love the Lord. 

Lester Larios - A brother in Christ who is a year older and I can see how we have lots of common ground in terms of running about and I really enjoyed talking to him during lunch. First time I saw him was at CRU a year ago and he grace drivenly and beautifully preached the Gospel. 

Mark Lange - First brother in Christ I talked to and really got to know and also my roommate during this briefing. Im blessed that he doesnt mind the lights on when he sleeps before me and that he doesn't snore. 

Matt Pfaff - Oldest brother in Christ on our team and team leader, tis a blessing finally being able to see him in person and I look forward to running about with him and my other brethren for the glory of God and the final salvation of the many. 

Sharna Barnard - When asked whats her spirit animal she said "Not sure about this... sounds kinda pagan" and I found that so true and hilarious. I praise the Trinity that my team has a holy sense of humor. 

Julien Baeza - Plays ping pong, goes to CSUF and serves at CRU, and Im going morning worship running with him in the morning so I gotta finish this up and get some rest. 

 

So nothing too [deep] or profound today just wanted to get my blog started, provide the masses with something to pray for besides for me, get the gears in my minds end going for the edifying use of my Xanga, and my heart grace sustainingly focused on eternal matters. But I must truebdetrueb say that I was really blessed by Sunday night and all the brethren who gathered to see me off before I depart for Japan even though I didnt end up sleeping till 6 in the morning. It was really unexpected to see that many souls from the wide range of areas God has placed me in where I run about. I know that by God's divine providence that there are way more than just those souls that extend beyond those who came, but to see a house full of that many brethren that I've poured my heart out for the advancement of His Kindgom and with the Gospel at the center of the night amongst the eating, laughing, games, ping pong, talking, etc. etc., it is just a ridiculous blessing that I know I absolutely do not deserve and all glory be to Christ my King and One True Love. Its an indelible reminder of how loved I am by God and how much grace I am shown to be able to join in on His sovereign plan to glorify Him and partake in the final salvation of the many. 

And now I am getting to know more new souls and already are new God exalting memories being sweetly made! Brief glimpses of God's glory are extending and widening in my life as I see how God not only provided for me, but also for the rest of my team and how He has sovereignly brought us altogether here and now to do His work. I know that its only been one day together and things are still just getting warmed up before we really start running about, but I am inexpressibly excited. But sadly it is now 1:31 a.m. and I can still write so much more, but for now I shall rest(I'm not even going to proofread so dont judge me on my mistakes lol) because I already owe a "debt" to my body and must pay the price for the long run. Soli Deo Gloria!

Two more days till Japan!

So instead of pondering on the past or even contemplating about the distant future, I shall praise God for what He's been doing in the present.

The following is a spoken word/rap/spoken word that I made and performed with grace driven poetic effort(my first time ever sharing my stuff like that publically) at EPIC's sisters appreciation for the glory of God and the final salvation of the many:

"Men Of God Ought To Epically Appreciate And Exhort All Their Sisters In Christ"

[spoken word]

If you open up your Bibles,

I'm gonna show you some of man's idols;

We'll start with Eve

The one the Serpent decieved

Who helped her husband fell

And damned us all to hell

And then you got Delilah

The pretty little lie-ah

She'll sell you out and cut your hair

Then leave you without a single car

Next you got Bathsheba

The bathing and sexy senorita

And David, who slayed Goliath, couldn't even defeat ha(her)!

Finally you got Job and Potiphar's wife,

These whorreble ladies can wreck any guy's life.

[rap]

But let me set the record straight

Jesus Christ is my Lord, and all my idols He'll eliminate!

So as I step up to the batter's plate,

Even though those haters gonna go and hate,

I pray to God He'll illuminate.

Cuz i got sisters in Christ to appreciate,

So to all the women(of EPIC) I now dedicate,

A rap that only the Whale King can fabricate.

Cuz I got something in my heart right now,

And to speak the truth, I'll speak in love right now,

Becuz I just want to show you how,

You, my sisters in Christ,

Are a means of grace,

A constant reminder that I'm going to see our Saviour's face!

Cuz every time you show me love,

I know its from our Father above.

And even though you still sin,

You got the Holy Spirit Within.

The beauty of wordly women will surely pass away,

But yours is secured by Christ to eternally stay.

[spoken word]

So I encourage all you my sisters to hold fast to the Gospel Truth,

And to exemplify God fearing women like Esther, Mary, and Ruth!

Dont put your hope in external beauties of a man,

None of them will fill you, for only God can.

And there's only one life that will soon be past;

And only what's done for Christ will last.

[Fin]

P.S. Lord Willing I will do a video version soon!

One of the things God has been doing in my recent seasons of life is truebdetrueb blessing me with more sisters in Christ to love and run about and alley-oop with. I remember growing up, I was only exposed to a handful of the opposite sex and I was so convinced that they were the only godly girls around. Maturing out of such hindsight is indeed a God ordainly hilarious thing. Ministering to sisters in Christ is such a joy and pleasure that I never would have imagined partaking in before, but it is also something that I confess always requires grace driven introspection of my intentions, healthy well reciprocated accountability with other brethren to point out my blind spots and exhort/rebuke/reprove me with complete patience and teaching(which is something I need a lot), and continual self examining of my heart and of my focus on the Gospel for the glory of God and the final salvation of the many in order to not to fill my self glorifying narcissistic hero complex ego, gain attention/praise/applaud especially from attractive women, and/or satisfy other fleshly desires even that of lust.

Oh how sweet the Gospel sounds to ears like mine when I am constantly being undone, being shown my sin, and even more so, being shown abounding grace totally despite me. How He would take a wicked, inadequate, imperfect sinner like me and make much of Himself through me is beyond any words I could ever smith! This is my holy thrill! How He would set a fire down [deep] into my soul that sets ablaze a passion for His name in the forrest of my minds end which thus increases the fahrenheit of my heart for Him and for others. Oh how I find myself constantly on my knees crying out in prayer so that my God would not just gracfully and beconstifusingly work in me, but also in ALL my other brothers in Christ especially the ones I'm personally accountable with and the ones I disciple(the Whale Princes) and mentor(too many to count), the ones(like the church of Reuben) that I pray would one day totally and completely surpass me as men of God. Oh how I pray that by the grace of God wrought by Christ, we would live undeniable gospel centered transparently clear, visible, exemplary, everyday life through the power of the Hoy Spirit; THIS means so much!

God help us to not improv or pretend to be holy or better than we actually are, we are not awesome, You are. Help us to demonstrate a life constantly repenting and confessing sins, not just the safe and easy sins, but the deep dark and depraved ones that we would've been too ashamed to speak of if it were not for the everlasting and life altering truth of the Gospel impacting our lives, in order to show how much we are constantly in need of grace. Help us to lead well and not make excuses for our sins or shortcomings by being whorrebly weak pathetic spineless sugar coating jellyfish cowards or lukewarm and little neat christian boys that run away or point the blame at others. Help us to own up to our part, to our sin, and to our failures which are many, in order that we may wage war well and tooth and nail fight for our joy in You. Help us to be the biblical men of God You call us to be, but not for the praise of our name, but for Yours. No matter what the cost may be, to live is Christ and to die is gain so help us to not waste our lives or fizzle out in the faith or in holy ambition and to not hide in the darkness. Help us to stop having weak lazy joy hindering tinted transparency built upon beautiful eloquent lies one after another. Help us to be creatures of the Word. Help us to be the brave souls that take initiative birthed from a desire to know and have more of You. Help us to set an example for our sisters in Christ because I pray for them so much more now after everything You've been doing as God glorifying dominoes have been falling around me and apparent and tragic truths are revealed. I cry out and pray all the more. 

I see You working both in me and my brothers and also in my sisters, therefore I shall not cease praying, pleading, and pushing. I will not lose heart even in Your seeming absence, I will cling to the truth that You are here, in this, working mightily. 

Selah

Dear God,

Why has it been so long since I've been on here? Writing You a love letter on here and instead of in one of my now manys CRElbs feels ridiculously weird on a plethora of layers and levels. I've been running and running about like a crazy madman for these past couple years with hyper acceleration mode sprints and overdrive jumps. But Your Holy Spirit has helped me see that I've been needing to rest, rest in You, and to rest in way that I havent in a long time rested and through a means of grace I've longed missed. So now I find myself here. I feel like the Doctor entering his renewed tardis as he says, "Okay what have you got for me this time? *He opens the door steps in* Look at you, oh you sexy thing! Look at you!" *the doors close* then he goes off exploring all of time and space again. That's how I feel. Oh by God's grace that's how I feel. Finally able to exhale in a way I havent done so in forever, and its through moments like this by God's providence that allows life to most definitely hit me concerning how much has changed and is changing, both inside of me and outside. So many variables added, dropped, flipped around, and quite simply changed; unexpected outcomes to both familiar and unfamiliar equations; formulas, movements, paradoxes, pendulums, patterns, puzzles, prayers, and so much more constantly being unpacked and some still unravelling before me; new mental structures being built such as the attic of my minds end which is daily being grace drivenly filled and organized with furniture of thoughts while some mental structures are being shaken and/or destroyed by emotional earthquakes of varying proportions; unexpectedly being harped upon by my worst struggle ever thats of Olympic level which makes lust and pride look like Varisty or even JV level; seeming constants being sifted away by the winds of life and of course then there are the true and eternal constants -such as You, my Anchor, my Rock, my Joy, my Salvation, my All in All, my Most Take All, my still now and forever always One True Love- that prove themselves to stay and stick/stand, time and time again no matter the season, storm, or struggle. Every year seems to go by so much faster yet every year so much more seems to happen. Oh the weight of it all! God help me. I love it, but God help me. Cuz if You dont, I will surebdesureb wreck it all and fall under the overwhelming weight of it. The God glorifying dominoes are absolutely crazy! And I love it all, I love all of You. I really do. I really really really do. I truebdetrueb do. And I know that so much more will keep on changing. Even my speech, the way I articulate my feelings, convey my thoughts, and smith my words are constantly changing, growing, and maturing. The same is true with the souls I know and socialize with. So much keeps progressing and changing, and I know that this is how life is, but I always know not as I ought to know, but I'm knowing more and more. It's design! You know? Well I bet You know, You [deep]ly designed it this way. Now I promised myself that if I was going to write anything on my Xanga, that I wouldnt get nostalgic, but I would focus more on just basking in everything that You are and everything that You've done, are doing, and will do. Oh how I love all Your "I shall"s and "I will"s! Oh how I love Your Gospel! Oh how I love You! What would I ever do without You? You captivate my thoughts and turn them from dead fruitless withered shells of nigh despair to Gospel centered soul satisfying ecstasies of syllabubs. But I'm not going to lie, seeing how so much has changed in me and my life along with how so many unpredictable things have come into being, makes me both scared and excited. Scared because I contritingly confess theres still this part of me that wants just sinfully PRETEND that I've laid everything down at Your feet and left it there and I'm at a peace that surpasses all understanding, but in my heart I'm still desperately trying to take it up and be in control like a hero or genius, all under the silly notion that I know better than You. HA! I'm stupid and sinful, I know. God please help me put to death that part of me. But we both know this, that everything I have is Yours! Again I love that, I adore that, and in the most explicit and real and unadulterated way I bask in such absolute truths of You, like that, for it is delicious to my starving soul; thus, I feast. Excited because in so many ways that I fail whorrebly to express, I've seen and felt the way You gracefully work, and I know that there's still so much more to come. SO MUCH MORE! I ain't seen nothing yet. This is perhaps the only time I ever find myself crying out of sheer excitement, anticipation, and trepidation, all on a sweetly holy level. I'm anxious and excited for everything You are going to do. I'm anxious so help me to repent well so that no flimsy pleasures or beautifully eloquent lies or deep dark depraved thoughts distract me from my solid joy in You. And I'm excited for what You are going to do in/through/with me. The new songs I'm going to worship You with; the new pieces of literature I'm going to read; the new things about You I'm going to intimately know and enjoy in Your Word; the new CRElbs I'm going to write; the new words I'm going to beconstifusingly absorb and salvamoxxedly smith; the new souls I'm going to intentionally socialize with and the old souls I'm going to have new memories with; the greater glimpses of Your glory and the final salvation of the many through running about, alleyooping, rest, communion, and grace driven poetic effort I'm going to behold; new exponentially ever increasing holy frustration and holy relief that I'm going to taste; the new struggles, storms, trials, and suffering I'm all going to face and by Your grace overcome; and so much more to experience. All of this is Lord Willing. But most of all, I look forward to the day I'm going to see Your face. Oh I'm going to see Your face!

"I'm not there yet so I'm reaching,
reaching for a goal, to stand before my King and be speechless.
Then, never again, will I question if his grace is
sufficient to cover my sin. Cause death is gone, and all
the effects of, evil and wrong will be conquered when His
kingdom comes. So this is my hope and my prayer. The air
that I'll breath in eternity with lungs that never fail
me. If it pleases my Lord, and only by Your grace, use my
life till it's poured out for Your sake. Until then I'll
remain where You have me, with joy when I feel unhappy. And
a peace that surpasses all my understanding, my life is in
the hands of Your love everlasting."

My life in Your Hands and no place I would rather have it be. I could list all the things I've been blessed by starting with HCBC, my padawons, EPIC, accountability, etc. but I would not know where to end. It's is all You! You are so undeniably in this! All of [this] wrought by the Cross of Christ totally despite me. I cannot boast in myself for I am not awesome. You are awesome. It's all YOU! Therefore, I always find myself coming back to these words that by Your hands, have sovereignly sticked, "Soli Deo Gloria". These words ever increasingly grow sweeter as You woo every redeemed fiber of my being and make me all the more fonder of You day after day after day. There's still more, and I want more, I need more, more of You, please bring it!

Its For Your Beautiful Name,

J.P. Fisher

How I came to making these lists: 1. A long time ago I listened to Matt Chandler preach Stirring Your Affections for Jesus in which he said, "Find the things that stir your affections for Christ and saturate your life in them. Find the things that rob you of that affection and walk away from them. That’s the Christian life as easy as I can explain it for you." 2. Matthew Christopher Chang from EPIC shared with me, "If you can't think of at least 20 sins in your life off the top of your head then you are not aware of your sins enough." 3. Fighting and struggling for my joy in Christ and running about and resting well and waging war on sin all while being gracefully captivated by the question, "Will this get me more of God or will it not get me more of God?" in my minds end and heart throughout my God given day. 4. Other [deep] and heavy questions that come from asking that. 5. Being motivated to make more lists in my life for the glory of God and the final salvation of the many.

These are just some of the God glorying dominoes that fell in my life which led me to slowly and prayerfully make these lists.

Disclaimer: These are MY lists of things that steal and stir MY affections for God. They personally deal with things that happen in MY life. Laying on a couch with a girl late late at night would probably steal my affections for God and cause me to sin, whorrebly sin, but that is not something I personally do or plan to do in my life and days. So its not in my list. Get it? Therefore, I pray that you would be exhorted by these lists in order to make your own, but prayerfully and honestly. Commune with God on this. This is a matter of the heart! Be honest! Cuz if you don't be honest then you can't use these lists to wage war well and fight for your joy; all that you write will be in vain. Be as specific as you can and avoid generalizing, sugarcoating, over exaggerating, or any other beautiful eloquent lies that don't attack what needs to be attacked in light of the Gospel. This is NOT about a list of do's and dont's, this is about what will get me more of God in order to enjoy Him above all because He is what I ultimately need. He is worth it.

[List of 20 things that steal my affections for God and lead me to sin and not glorify Him]

(I have 6 Big Sins = Lust, Pride, Bitterness/Anger/Frustration, Apathy, Hero Complex, and Lazy/Idleness which can all be boiled down to IDOLATRY)

1. Being home "alone" with internet/technology and other earthly trinkets for an extended period of time
2. Oversleeping/sleeping pass 12 pm/sleeping over 10 hours unless it is much needed catching up on rest
3. Unintentional back to back leisurely activity i.e. TV shows/board games
4. Insignificant/Un[deep]/pointless "small" talks - the longer the talk the worse
5. Mindless internet surfing especially on YouTube or Facebook/Unfocused and unintentional with my time
6. Hearing bard theology/preaching/unbiblical teaching
7. Certain part scenes/gathering places where debauchery is the goal
8. "Attractive" women in unmodest clothing
9. Dwelling/slumping unconfessedly and unrepentedly in a pit of sin and inactivity(post sin)
10. Very vain and loud secular music/"noise"(overhearing a conversation) about temporal obsessions
11. Non-fasting hunger/overeating/eating too much junk food
12. Sexual immorality - masturbating, pornography, fantasy, etc.
13. Being told that I am "wrong" and/or being "compared" to someone else
14. Nagging - nagging that harps on my weaknesses and self nagging that only shames but doesn't help my soul
15. Doing things out of obligation
16. Being put on a "pedestal"/being praised
17. Weird feelings like "reverse deja vu",void, amorphous emotions/feeling, etc.
18. Seeing other (close)brethren struggling poorly
19. Being/"feeling isolated(isolation = bad, but solitude = good for my soul)
20. [DM]/[DDDT]s

How can I eliminate and/or adjust these things from/in my life with the Gospel? What is the heart of the matter behind each individual thing? What requires eliminating and what requires adjusting? What needs to be seriously and desperately done in order to wage war well on these things? Why do I still desire/want/pursue these things if it steals my affections from God and causes me to sin and thus gets me less of Him?

[List of 20 things that stir my affections for God and stuff that leads me to glorify and enjoy Him more]

1. Spiritual Bengay
2. Hot showers in the dark while praying on my knees
3. Running about/evangelizing + gospelizing/Gospel centered conversations/CRELB/[Deep] talks + intentional dialogues/and I can go on and on because this one goes ALL OVER THE MAP and even over laps with other things on the list./loving upon others with Christ's love and meeting their needs
4. Writing and CRElbing i.e. stories and love letters and Xanga blogs
5. Accountability - Confessing sins and struggles: getting nitty gritty with Gospel Centered transparency
6. Unreserved, unashamed, unrestricted musical worship + sermon jamming
7. Hearing good sound theology/preaching/biblical teaching + preaching to myself
8. Morning Worship Runs(or anytime, but morning are preferably better for my soul)(I especially enjoy sprinting up steep hills)
9. Eating good food with good friends, having Good conversations while focused on our Good God
10. Beautiful Awe-striking and soul moving scenery i.e. sun rays/dogs and clouds, greenness of green trees, top of the world views, starry full moon sky, etc.
11. Meeting new brethren and hearing their testimonies
12. Bible reading/discussion with brethren (super swedish method)
13. Spontaneous/"on the spot" prayer with brethren - I especially enjoy waterfall prayer and/or putting arms over one another while praying
14. Seeing/hearing other people running about, struggling well, and/or maturing in Christ
15. Meditating/Memorizing/Marking up/Feasting upon God's Word
16. Being a good steward of my God given time = schedule of fruitfullness + Holy Spriti led spontaneity
17. Resting Well - Sabbaths, planned dates with God, sleepless nights pursuing Him, etec.
18. Reading/watching/ hearing really epic stories such as mangas or movies with Gospel lenses and being [pulled]
19. Apostate stories(for Holy Anguish that gets me more of God) and Martyr Stories(for Holy Ambition that gets me more of God) and good quotes/lyrics
20. [Deep] Questions like constantly asking myself, "How can I do               for the glory of God and the final salvation of the many? or Does this get me more of God or less of God?"/[SGCT]s

How can I saturate and fill my life with these things? Why don't I pursue these things more vigorously in my life? How exactly do these things stir my affections for God? Is it man centered feelism or doism or is it true genuine legit Gospel centered grace driven efforts/means of grace? Am I ever apathetic or indifferent to these things that would stir my affections for God and would get me more of Him to glorify and enjoy? How often and why?

 

I'll close with this prayer that my bestuh prehund Ben shared with me a while ago and I've been praying it ever since;

"Father, I want to know Thee, but my cowardly heart fears to give up its toys. I cannot part with them without inward bleeding, and I do not try to hide from Thee the terror of the parting. I come trembling, but I do come. Please root from my heart all those things which I have cherished so long and which have become a very part of my living self, so that Thou mayest enter and dwell there without a rival. Then shalt Thou make the place of Thy feet glorious. Then shall my heart have no need of the sun to shine in it, for Thyself wilt be the light of it, and there shall be no night there. 
In Jesus' name.
Amen."

Protect, guide, sustain, and incline me to more of You whatever it costs and whatever it takes forever and always,

J.P. Fisher