December 16, 2013
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Wisdom With Details
Now hear I am again, striving for consistency and steadfastness with my resolve to come back to my Xanga. But I realize that as I desired it in my minds end to make this Xanga more diaryish, I come across the difficulty with details. Why? Because this is a public blog for anyone to read and so much of what happens throughout my week isn’t just about me anymore, but as I run about my story intertwines and deals with other souls and their sins and personal life. So I can’t say everything and I pray for wisdom on how I unpack things, not for my glory, but for His and the final salvation of the many, and for grace when my good intentioned heart just f’s up and even when I write my sweetest blog, I need grace cuz I know it’ll still be spoiled and blotted with MY sin.
So why not just post my Xanga as private? Cuz part of the DNA of my Xanga is that, by God’s grace, for the past 8 years its helped random web sojourners and secret lurking followers love God more. I know this from random personal emails to rare comments. So my Xanga shall continue to stay public until God reveals to me otherwise.
But another difficulty for not reporting details is that its time consuming and heavy fruitful weeks feel like months so its difficult to recollect everything so if anything consider the Xanga just glimpses of my day to day life that focuses on the highlights I want to remember and bless others with. ALSO BIG DISCLAIMER: If you read my diaryish Xanga and it makes you put me on any kind of a pedestal because of all the crazy things I do for the Lord, please stop, take me off and destroy your pedestals. This Xanga isn’t to uplift me, but its to make much of God and testify all His works in me throughout my grace given weeks. Now I’ll try to do my best in being honest and transparent with struggles through this medium, but I’ll tell you, just as not every detail and blessing will be listed neither will every struggle or sin or temptation I go through, this is part of the wisdom part of this blog. But please do keep in your minds end that I’m a far greater sinner than you(and even I myself) realize! Which just makes it all the more crazy awesome that God loves me despite me and that the proof is in the Cross of Christ and all this stuff that I get to write down is only by His grace! Selah.
Monday
-Meaningful Mondays! Must I say more?
-Blessed to hear from a soul, whom I’ve been praying for(others have been also) and have been intentional with for quite some time, that I can now call him a brother in Christ.
-Despite such a productive and blessing filled day, [DM] still tempts me to despair.
-Prayed for a sister in Christ, very blessed by God’s work that goes beyond me and her.Tuesday
-Essay day till I found out that the due date was moved to Thursday and then this day became procrastination day!
-Started writing poetry about Finals and God’s grace. They are quite popular on FB.(must confess seeking out “Likes” as a potential/to definite idol that I must do frequent heart checks for)Wednesday
-Woke up and found out an assignment that I somehow thought was due Friday turned out to be due in 6 or so hours. Which became a blessing at the end as I finished it like a boss and therefore found myself ahead of my schedule.
-Knew another sister struggling, much prayer as I withheld my questions and waited upon the Lord.
-EPIC running about. Caught up with Billy Thai!
-Began to persistently preach to myself that “I’m not God” in order to trust more in Christ and not myself.Thursday
-Turned in my essay “Experiencing God with the Poet’s Poet(George Herbert)”; Spurgeon had “Lectures to my Students” while I have “Essays to my Teacher”
-The beginning of Finals for me started here. And so I saw my strives to be a better King type bear fruit in my studies.
-Delicious mexican food with EPIC brethren, good chill time.
-Kevin Wu’s Bday dinner plus Monopoly Deal
-Read 1 Chronicles 16:8-36 and pages 199 to 200 of Dangerous Calling at Ten Rens to recuperate after the first day of Finals and in the eye of the hurricane. Lots of crazy Holy Spirit led stuff.Friday
-Work led to good bonding time with the co-workers.
-Heavy day and night… lots of running about, lots of dealing with sin, lots of prayer, not just one things, but many, yet still I rejoice in the Lord.
-Kimkim’s birthday celebration!
-A sister in Christ asked me a really good question and an even better follow up question that I most appreciate at Yard House.
-I asked a sister in Christ a really good question which lead to some great Gospel centered dialogue.
-Blessed by accountability brethren who responded to my text and especially Matt for personally Gospelizing my soul living life with me.Saturday
-Running About with Jason Douangsanith! Always filled with holy anguish and joy. Joy because I love catching up with him and showing him Christ with my grace driven love and life but anguished cuz I know he’s still not putting his hope in Christ and unless he repents, he’s going to go to hell. As we were getting Cookie Butter he said he would come check out the church plant, so more to pray for now.
-Saw some old souls that I haven’t seen a while, shared and celebrated the Lord’s work in our lives.
-Super blessed by Tim’s text message!
-Finally watched Old Boy and didn’t end the night well, but true repentance God supplied.Sunday
-Taught my Sunday School kids about Hell
-Went to small groups
-Attempted to study
-Silent Auction for TPC(JOY), lots of running about and blessings flow. I won me some Pokemon cards!
-Attempted to study again(I dont need to study cuz I got all of Monday to study and I’m good according to my schedule and hours I’ve calculated I need)
-More running about that ended in prayer and praise of the Holy Spirit at work. #strangefire
-Then a long and lovely Facebook chat that stirred my affections for God even though it cost some hours of sleep, but twas definitely a joy and pleasure.Again theres always so much more, the details may be lacking, but this is all I can muster. Now I praise my God by resting well…
Dear Abba,
Help me to love the things You love and to hate the things You hate.
You are my all in all,
J.P. Fisher
