So instead of pondering on the past or even contemplating about the distant future, I shall praise God for what He's been doing in the present.

The following is a spoken word/rap/spoken word that I made and performed with grace driven poetic effort(my first time ever sharing my stuff like that publically) at EPIC's sisters appreciation for the glory of God and the final salvation of the many:

"Men Of God Ought To Epically Appreciate And Exhort All Their Sisters In Christ"

[spoken word]

If you open up your Bibles,

I'm gonna show you some of man's idols;

We'll start with Eve

The one the Serpent decieved

Who helped her husband fell

And damned us all to hell

And then you got Delilah

The pretty little lie-ah

She'll sell you out and cut your hair

Then leave you without a single car

Next you got Bathsheba

The bathing and sexy senorita

And David, who slayed Goliath, couldn't even defeat ha(her)!

Finally you got Job and Potiphar's wife,

These whorreble ladies can wreck any guy's life.

[rap]

But let me set the record straight

Jesus Christ is my Lord, and all my idols He'll eliminate!

So as I step up to the batter's plate,

Even though those haters gonna go and hate,

I pray to God He'll illuminate.

Cuz i got sisters in Christ to appreciate,

So to all the women(of EPIC) I now dedicate,

A rap that only the Whale King can fabricate.

Cuz I got something in my heart right now,

And to speak the truth, I'll speak in love right now,

Becuz I just want to show you how,

You, my sisters in Christ,

Are a means of grace,

A constant reminder that I'm going to see our Saviour's face!

Cuz every time you show me love,

I know its from our Father above.

And even though you still sin,

You got the Holy Spirit Within.

The beauty of wordly women will surely pass away,

But yours is secured by Christ to eternally stay.

[spoken word]

So I encourage all you my sisters to hold fast to the Gospel Truth,

And to exemplify God fearing women like Esther, Mary, and Ruth!

Dont put your hope in external beauties of a man,

None of them will fill you, for only God can.

And there's only one life that will soon be past;

And only what's done for Christ will last.

[Fin]

P.S. Lord Willing I will do a video version soon!

One of the things God has been doing in my recent seasons of life is truebdetrueb blessing me with more sisters in Christ to love and run about and alley-oop with. I remember growing up, I was only exposed to a handful of the opposite sex and I was so convinced that they were the only godly girls around. Maturing out of such hindsight is indeed a God ordainly hilarious thing. Ministering to sisters in Christ is such a joy and pleasure that I never would have imagined partaking in before, but it is also something that I confess always requires grace driven introspection of my intentions, healthy well reciprocated accountability with other brethren to point out my blind spots and exhort/rebuke/reprove me with complete patience and teaching(which is something I need a lot), and continual self examining of my heart and of my focus on the Gospel for the glory of God and the final salvation of the many in order to not to fill my self glorifying narcissistic hero complex ego, gain attention/praise/applaud especially from attractive women, and/or satisfy other fleshly desires even that of lust.

Oh how sweet the Gospel sounds to ears like mine when I am constantly being undone, being shown my sin, and even more so, being shown abounding grace totally despite me. How He would take a wicked, inadequate, imperfect sinner like me and make much of Himself through me is beyond any words I could ever smith! This is my holy thrill! How He would set a fire down [deep] into my soul that sets ablaze a passion for His name in the forrest of my minds end which thus increases the fahrenheit of my heart for Him and for others. Oh how I find myself constantly on my knees crying out in prayer so that my God would not just gracfully and beconstifusingly work in me, but also in ALL my other brothers in Christ especially the ones I'm personally accountable with and the ones I disciple(the Whale Princes) and mentor(too many to count), the ones(like the church of Reuben) that I pray would one day totally and completely surpass me as men of God. Oh how I pray that by the grace of God wrought by Christ, we would live undeniable gospel centered transparently clear, visible, exemplary, everyday life through the power of the Hoy Spirit; THIS means so much!

God help us to not improv or pretend to be holy or better than we actually are, we are not awesome, You are. Help us to demonstrate a life constantly repenting and confessing sins, not just the safe and easy sins, but the deep dark and depraved ones that we would've been too ashamed to speak of if it were not for the everlasting and life altering truth of the Gospel impacting our lives, in order to show how much we are constantly in need of grace. Help us to lead well and not make excuses for our sins or shortcomings by being whorrebly weak pathetic spineless sugar coating jellyfish cowards or lukewarm and little neat christian boys that run away or point the blame at others. Help us to own up to our part, to our sin, and to our failures which are many, in order that we may wage war well and tooth and nail fight for our joy in You. Help us to be the biblical men of God You call us to be, but not for the praise of our name, but for Yours. No matter what the cost may be, to live is Christ and to die is gain so help us to not waste our lives or fizzle out in the faith or in holy ambition and to not hide in the darkness. Help us to stop having weak lazy joy hindering tinted transparency built upon beautiful eloquent lies one after another. Help us to be creatures of the Word. Help us to be the brave souls that take initiative birthed from a desire to know and have more of You. Help us to set an example for our sisters in Christ because I pray for them so much more now after everything You've been doing as God glorifying dominoes have been falling around me and apparent and tragic truths are revealed. I cry out and pray all the more. 

I see You working both in me and my brothers and also in my sisters, therefore I shall not cease praying, pleading, and pushing. I will not lose heart even in Your seeming absence, I will cling to the truth that You are here, in this, working mightily. 

Selah

Dear God,

Why has it been so long since I've been on here? Writing You a love letter on here and instead of in one of my now manys CRElbs feels ridiculously weird on a plethora of layers and levels. I've been running and running about like a crazy madman for these past couple years with hyper acceleration mode sprints and overdrive jumps. But Your Holy Spirit has helped me see that I've been needing to rest, rest in You, and to rest in way that I havent in a long time rested and through a means of grace I've longed missed. So now I find myself here. I feel like the Doctor entering his renewed tardis as he says, "Okay what have you got for me this time? *He opens the door steps in* Look at you, oh you sexy thing! Look at you!" *the doors close* then he goes off exploring all of time and space again. That's how I feel. Oh by God's grace that's how I feel. Finally able to exhale in a way I havent done so in forever, and its through moments like this by God's providence that allows life to most definitely hit me concerning how much has changed and is changing, both inside of me and outside. So many variables added, dropped, flipped around, and quite simply changed; unexpected outcomes to both familiar and unfamiliar equations; formulas, movements, paradoxes, pendulums, patterns, puzzles, prayers, and so much more constantly being unpacked and some still unravelling before me; new mental structures being built such as the attic of my minds end which is daily being grace drivenly filled and organized with furniture of thoughts while some mental structures are being shaken and/or destroyed by emotional earthquakes of varying proportions; unexpectedly being harped upon by my worst struggle ever thats of Olympic level which makes lust and pride look like Varisty or even JV level; seeming constants being sifted away by the winds of life and of course then there are the true and eternal constants -such as You, my Anchor, my Rock, my Joy, my Salvation, my All in All, my Most Take All, my still now and forever always One True Love- that prove themselves to stay and stick/stand, time and time again no matter the season, storm, or struggle. Every year seems to go by so much faster yet every year so much more seems to happen. Oh the weight of it all! God help me. I love it, but God help me. Cuz if You dont, I will surebdesureb wreck it all and fall under the overwhelming weight of it. The God glorifying dominoes are absolutely crazy! And I love it all, I love all of You. I really do. I really really really do. I truebdetrueb do. And I know that so much more will keep on changing. Even my speech, the way I articulate my feelings, convey my thoughts, and smith my words are constantly changing, growing, and maturing. The same is true with the souls I know and socialize with. So much keeps progressing and changing, and I know that this is how life is, but I always know not as I ought to know, but I'm knowing more and more. It's design! You know? Well I bet You know, You [deep]ly designed it this way. Now I promised myself that if I was going to write anything on my Xanga, that I wouldnt get nostalgic, but I would focus more on just basking in everything that You are and everything that You've done, are doing, and will do. Oh how I love all Your "I shall"s and "I will"s! Oh how I love Your Gospel! Oh how I love You! What would I ever do without You? You captivate my thoughts and turn them from dead fruitless withered shells of nigh despair to Gospel centered soul satisfying ecstasies of syllabubs. But I'm not going to lie, seeing how so much has changed in me and my life along with how so many unpredictable things have come into being, makes me both scared and excited. Scared because I contritingly confess theres still this part of me that wants just sinfully PRETEND that I've laid everything down at Your feet and left it there and I'm at a peace that surpasses all understanding, but in my heart I'm still desperately trying to take it up and be in control like a hero or genius, all under the silly notion that I know better than You. HA! I'm stupid and sinful, I know. God please help me put to death that part of me. But we both know this, that everything I have is Yours! Again I love that, I adore that, and in the most explicit and real and unadulterated way I bask in such absolute truths of You, like that, for it is delicious to my starving soul; thus, I feast. Excited because in so many ways that I fail whorrebly to express, I've seen and felt the way You gracefully work, and I know that there's still so much more to come. SO MUCH MORE! I ain't seen nothing yet. This is perhaps the only time I ever find myself crying out of sheer excitement, anticipation, and trepidation, all on a sweetly holy level. I'm anxious and excited for everything You are going to do. I'm anxious so help me to repent well so that no flimsy pleasures or beautifully eloquent lies or deep dark depraved thoughts distract me from my solid joy in You. And I'm excited for what You are going to do in/through/with me. The new songs I'm going to worship You with; the new pieces of literature I'm going to read; the new things about You I'm going to intimately know and enjoy in Your Word; the new CRElbs I'm going to write; the new words I'm going to beconstifusingly absorb and salvamoxxedly smith; the new souls I'm going to intentionally socialize with and the old souls I'm going to have new memories with; the greater glimpses of Your glory and the final salvation of the many through running about, alleyooping, rest, communion, and grace driven poetic effort I'm going to behold; new exponentially ever increasing holy frustration and holy relief that I'm going to taste; the new struggles, storms, trials, and suffering I'm all going to face and by Your grace overcome; and so much more to experience. All of this is Lord Willing. But most of all, I look forward to the day I'm going to see Your face. Oh I'm going to see Your face!

"I'm not there yet so I'm reaching,
reaching for a goal, to stand before my King and be speechless.
Then, never again, will I question if his grace is
sufficient to cover my sin. Cause death is gone, and all
the effects of, evil and wrong will be conquered when His
kingdom comes. So this is my hope and my prayer. The air
that I'll breath in eternity with lungs that never fail
me. If it pleases my Lord, and only by Your grace, use my
life till it's poured out for Your sake. Until then I'll
remain where You have me, with joy when I feel unhappy. And
a peace that surpasses all my understanding, my life is in
the hands of Your love everlasting."

My life in Your Hands and no place I would rather have it be. I could list all the things I've been blessed by starting with HCBC, my padawons, EPIC, accountability, etc. but I would not know where to end. It's is all You! You are so undeniably in this! All of [this] wrought by the Cross of Christ totally despite me. I cannot boast in myself for I am not awesome. You are awesome. It's all YOU! Therefore, I always find myself coming back to these words that by Your hands, have sovereignly sticked, "Soli Deo Gloria". These words ever increasingly grow sweeter as You woo every redeemed fiber of my being and make me all the more fonder of You day after day after day. There's still more, and I want more, I need more, more of You, please bring it!

Its For Your Beautiful Name,

J.P. Fisher