June 30, 2011

• All That Is Within Me

  Dear God,

  Wow! I just realized that I have not written you a love letter in forever. Sigh. Already in typing this to You, my One True Love, I've started to remember rightly, the precious moments I've had in writing to you. Oh how I miss [this]. Looking back at where I have come from I see that You really have been shaping me into a man of God. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. I can't say it enough nor express how amazing this growing intimacy with You has been. Even being able to do [this] again, oh what a delight to my soul. You are the delight to my soul. The song isn't Sometimes Whenever, but its Always Forever. Indeed You are my One True Love, always forever. Let this day and every single day that comes be to prove... it is You that holds my heart. All that is within me crying out "Abba!" with such inexpressible joy. Even when I am sorrowful or anguished or empty this joy in You never leaves me. I plead with this joy and meet You whether it be in the shower, the school library, my car, walking around my church building, or even just here; everywhere I go, You are there, never letting go of me. Your love is deeper than the sea. Maranatha! Oh and I thank you for that time at Dennys, reading/enjoying Psalm 63, Marks of the Messenger, Reflections on the Life and Ministry of David Brainerd, and drinking hot coco for several hours. Affections for You were definitely stirred and my soul was refreshed. Twas much needed. And there is just so much more moments to be thankful for. I am glad I started CRElbing, it helps me remember 5% more of these jewels of moments and thoughts with and of You. But I also miss being here, on my faithful xanga, my original CRElb. By Your Grace I just yearn to write You more love letters. My days go by with waking up early in the morning, praying for some minutes, going back to sleep, waking up to pray again, back to sleep, until it is no longer morning and then I arise from my bed. And I start running about, ministering, meeting, discipleshiping, learning, reading, listening, talking, LOTS of talking, CRElbing, thinking, asking questions, having affections stirred, having affections stolen, sinning, falling, messing up, wrestling in the soul, praying, reading manga, fellowshipping, fighting, pressing on, running about some more, digging for treasure, planting seeds, talking and driving to place to place meeting up with people, etc.(not all in that order and some more than others some days) They are by Your grace productive days with You as the sole weight. Single mindedly pursuing You, though not perfectly, but oh praise You for it is truebdetrueb that You can and do use weak, sick, discouraged, beat-down, lonely struggling saints, who cry to you day and night, to accomplish amazing things for Your Glory. I love that about You. This letter is getting long, though its filled with my love - broken and contrite and intensely stirred. Although its been so long since I wrote You a love letter like this, by Your grace its was so natural for me to dive back into it. I'm breathing in this moment. Getting ready to run about for Your Glory again. I'll take this with me as You take all of me. I promise I'll start writing You many more my Love. Even in the mountains and the valleys, no matter the season, I will write to You again. There is so much more I desire to write, both here and in my CRElbs, but there ain't enough time and not enough words for it all. But God, I write this for You. Though I am such a mess sometimes, no, all the time, I write this for You. 

  With robust faith,

  Jean Patrick Fisher

  • 5:55 pm
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